children's jokes
A father tells his 10-year-old son...
"Sprinkle a pinch of gunpowder on your cereal every morning and you will have a very long life."
His son followed his father's advice every morning without missing a day until he died at the age of 186, leaving behind 28 children, 67 grandchildren, 148 great-grandchildren, and a 7-foot crater where the crematory used to be.
What does a pedophile and a light switch have in common?
They both get turned on by children.
My wife and I just decided we don't want to have children.
So if anyone wants them, our contact information is below.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of children.
Ice cream truck drivers are the most sus people on earth. They’re adults who play children’s music and give ice cream to kids who approach their van.
My friend: You're ugly.
The orphanage: That's what I said to all my children.
So if you say a bear shoots children, and Leah likes Mason Boswells, and I go to Benjamin Adlard year 6.
I have eaten 6 babies, 9 adolescent children, and 2 infants in the past week ;p
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping bag?
One's made of plastic and is dangerous for children to play with, the other one carries your shopping.
By the way, infertility is hereditary:
If your parents did not have children, you will not have any.
Went to school today, had to yell at my friend that he wasn't on the clock.
He continued to swing on the pole in front of children.
What is yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of children.
Australian says to American: why do you have such bad gun laws?
American: Self defense.
Australian: Self defense against 50 innocent children?
Why is it wrong to drive around in a van offering children candy?
Because you’ll have more success if you give out video games!
What's yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of children.
How do Chinese people name their children?
They throw pots and pans down the stairs and listen for the sounds, "Ching Chong Chang."
What's big, black, and touches children?
Harambe.
What do orphans have in common with mute children?
They can't talk to their parents.
What does Earl Bradley and an Xbox have in common?
They both get turned on by children.
I was at a friend's place yesterday, and... There was a mother, father, three sons, and a daughter.
That night the mother and father started fucking each other. I yelled and told them there are innocent children in this house.
An hour later, they started up again. I walked to their room and they were asleep, so I looked in the brothers' room and all three brothers were fucking the sister.
I sighed at this. "Incest aside, you guys make a cute family." I started, "So Anna, when am I gonna have nieces and nephews?" They stopped instantly and went to sleep. "Thank you," I replied before walking back to my room they let me sleep in and I passed out for the rest of the night.