Children

Children jokes

Couple

A couple has sex in the dark every single night.

One night, the wife gets curious about what goes on, so they start f...ing, and she flicks the light on. When she flicks the light on, she catches him with a dildo playing with her pussy. She's so mad that she started ranting and raving. The husband says, "Honey, I know you're mad, and I'll explain the toy. Just do me one favor: explain the children."

Child

What's the hardest thing about walking through a field of dead children?

My penis.

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  • Twin

    Children in the Twin Towers be like: "Look, Mum, it's a plane!"

    Orphan

    Why do orphans have dry cereal?

    Because they're still waiting on the milk.

    Cockroach

    A kid and his dad went to the park. The kid accidentally steps on a cockroach.

    They go home immediately and dad gets the scissors. Now the kid has some balls to play with.

    Pedophile

    What's the best thing about being a pedophile? You can choose the fit profession where you find kids most.

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  • Basement

    What is black and blue and really hates sex?

    The six-year-old in my basement.

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  • Priest

    A 23 year old priest walks into a high school with an automatic weapon. He tells those who believe in God to stand up and leave.

    To the children who don't leave, he says, "Do not worry my children, I shall make thou 'hole-y' as well."

    He then proceeds to shoot all of the students left.

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  • Orphan

    If you wanna hit somebody, hit an orphan, what are they gonna do... tell their parents?

    Name

    How do Chinese people get their names? Their parents throw woks down the stairs and name their children after the sound it makes.

    Name

    If you have a daughter, give her the same name as the mum; that way when you call for a beer, you get two beers, and when you call for sex, you get two sex...

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  • Orphan

    The orphans all died!!!

    Oh wait, no one cares...

    Their parents are all dead anyway. We are just making them happier. They get to join their parents in hell.

    Orphan

    Why do orphans not know how to spell?

    Because no one likes them, dumb people. 🤭🤡

    Orphan

    Why do orphans have 363 days on the calendar? Because they don't have Mother's or Father's Day!

    Sister

    My sister was hitting on my boyfriend. I'm 11, she's 9. She said, "Go f-ck yourself," so I said, "Okay, thanks for the idea!"

    Orphan

    Why are orphans bad at baseball?

    Because they don’t know what a home is.