Children jokes

And the children of Israel wandered round the desert for 40 years, until eventually Moses' wife said, "Are you going to ask for directions, or what?"

How do you fit 1000 babies in a swimming pool?

A blender.

How do you get them out? Slurp them up with a straw.

What's the difference between a seal and a special kid?

They both go: "Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh!"

A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal.

Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."

What did they do with his body when he died?

They made him into Lego so kids can play with him for once.

What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor?

Dark humor is 10 babies in a trash can. Morbid humor is 1 baby in 10 trashcans.

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Bible Verse of The Day - For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, "Abba, Father." The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children.

—Romans 8:15-16

If you punch an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?

When a stranger keeps telling kids to kill themselves AKA the Stigg.

A couple has sex in the dark every single night.

One night, the wife gets curious about what goes on, so they start f...ing, and she flicks the light on. When she flicks the light on, she catches him with a dildo playing with her pussy. She's so mad that she started ranting and raving. The husband says, "Honey, I know you're mad, and I'll explain the toy. Just do me one favor: explain the children."

What's the hardest thing about walking through a field of dead children?

My penis.

Children in the Twin Towers be like: "Look, Mum, it's a plane!"

I blend children to make a good living.

Why do orphans like milk so much?

Because they got no milk as a baby.

Why do orphans have dry cereal?

Because they're still waiting on the milk.

A kid and his dad went to the park. The kid accidentally steps on a cockroach.

They go home immediately and dad gets the scissors. Now the kid has some balls to play with.

What's the best thing about being a pedophile? You can choose the fit profession where you find kids most.

What is black and blue and really hates sex?

The six-year-old in my basement.

A 23 year old priest walks into a high school with an automatic weapon. He tells those who believe in God to stand up and leave.

To the children who don't leave, he says, "Do not worry my children, I shall make thou 'hole-y' as well."

He then proceeds to shoot all of the students left.