Children jokes
Punch an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?
Son: Dad, why did you name my sister Paris?
Dad: Because she was made there.
Son: Thanks, Dad.
Dad: You're welcome, Backseat.
*Knock Knock* Who's there? Social Services...
What's the toughest stain to wash off a little boy's underpants?
Michael Jackson's lipstick.
Why do orphans like milk so much?
Because they got no milk as a baby.
What’s a depressed kid’s favorite game? Hangman.
Why did little Timmy dip the cookie in water?
"Because his dad never brought the milk."
I was asked to design a website for an orphanage, so I decided to design it without the home page.
Billy moved in with 69 pedophiles when he was 8. Many "tears" came across his cheeks.
Do you want to know why they call it an orphanage? Because they couldn't call it orphans home.
Why do priests appreciate educated children?
They don't spit.
Orphans always dip their Oreos in water, hoping their dad comes back with the milk.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them, with fuck.
Why can’t orphans watch Netflix?
Because they don't know what age rate they are…
What do you call a toy that has a story?
Toy Story.
A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal.
Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."
After work, I volunteer to help blind children. Verb, not adjective.
There's a lot of talk about starting families, but no one ever talks about finishing what they started.
How do homeless people punish their children?
What are their children going to do? Go to their room?
Why did the Lego cross the road? He was on the wrong block!