Children jokes

What is similar between a ton of kids and some boxes?

Both of those are commonly found in basements.

When a Muslim dies, he gets 72 virgins.

It's the same thing with priests, except the virgins are children.

I put the D in Children.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to get a bucket of water.

Jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a daughter.

Why don't orphans go to the park?

Because their parents can't push them on the swing!

What is an orphan's favorite store? Home Depot.

I just donated $100 to a blind children's charity, suck that no one will see it.

Why can't orphans be gay?

Because they have nobody to call "daddy."

Why do orphans hate Costco? Because they can't get in and try the free samples.

Spend all night in a dark humor webpage.

Go to an orphanage today and read it to them.

And I'm sure if you go to a school for disabled children, they should understand it.

Mia’s mother has 5 kids: Lilly, Abby, Alexa, Mila, and.... Q: Who is last? A: Mia.

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Little old lady. Little old lady who? Little old lady, you don’t need to yodel about it!

Why do orphans go to public schools?

Who's going to homeschool them?

I saw a kid crying today. I asked him where his parents were.

I love working at an orphanage.

Why can't orphans breathe? They are drowning in their own tears.

Why can't orphans be criminals?

They aren't wanted...

Dear Orphans,

I have a better orphanage for you. It's my basement :)

Why do orphans want to die?

Because they might see their parents in Heaven.

And the children of Israel wandered round the desert for 40 years, until eventually Moses' wife said, "Are you going to ask for directions, or what?"

How do you fit 1000 babies in a swimming pool?

A blender.

How do you get them out? Slurp them up with a straw.

What's the difference between a seal and a special kid?

They both go: "Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh!"