Children jokes
What's the best thing about being a pedophile? You can choose the fit profession where you find kids most.
What is black and blue and really hates sex?
The six-year-old in my basement.
A 23 year old priest walks into a high school with an automatic weapon. He tells those who believe in God to stand up and leave.
To the children who don't leave, he says, "Do not worry my children, I shall make thou 'hole-y' as well."
He then proceeds to shoot all of the students left.
If you wanna hit somebody, hit an orphan, what are they gonna do... tell their parents?
How do Chinese people get their names? Their parents throw woks down the stairs and name their children after the sound it makes.
If you have a daughter, give her the same name as the mum; that way when you call for a beer, you get two beers, and when you call for sex, you get two sex...
Why do orphans not know how to spell?
Because no one likes them, dumb people. 🤭🤡
The orphans all died!!!
Oh wait, no one cares...
Their parents are all dead anyway. We are just making them happier. They get to join their parents in hell.
Why do orphans have 363 days on the calendar? Because they don't have Mother's or Father's Day!
Why can't an orphan play baseball? Because he doesn't know where home is.
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
Because they don’t know what a home is.
Why did the kids love the mushrooms?
Because they're fun-guys!
My sister was hitting on my boyfriend. I'm 11, she's 9. She said, "Go f-ck yourself," so I said, "Okay, thanks for the idea!"
There once was a woman who had 10 kids. Their names were:
Tenth, Twenty, Thirty, Forty, Fifty, Sixty, Seventy, Eighty, Ninety, and One Hundred.
Everyone but Ninety died. She also had 10 kids.
These 10 kids got a dog without Ninety knowing. They had him for 2 years until he got hit by a car.
Only Ninety's kids know about this.
What do you call an orphan with parents?
Idk, I never met one before.
Bonus joke: I went up to an orphan and asked where his parents were. He said, "I don’t have any." I said, "Wonder why."
Another bonus joke: Me: Hey. Orphan: Hey. Me: What do you do for fun? Orphan: Look for my parents. Me: Me, so they're not dead? Orphan: No, they just abandoned me.
More bonus: What do you call a homeless kid?
An orphan.
Last bonus: Why don’t orphanages teach kids about home?
Because they can’t find one.
lmao this is so funny, dark humor can be funny. Sorry, orphans!
7 little children gathered around the bed Bill Cosby's fantasy.
All he wants to do is tickle the kids, it's as plain as can be.
7 cellmates gathered around the bed ready to rape Bill Cosby instead.
I can't cum anymore. I can't put children through this.
I like my girlfriends like my children: dead.
A kid and his dad went to the park. The kid accidentally steps on a cockroach.
They go home immediately and dad gets the scissors. Now the kid has some balls to play with.
Kid: I don't want to go to the movies.
Mom: Shut your mouth and clean my room!