Children jokes
I'd like to have kids one day.
I don't think I could stand them any longer than that, though.
Not many people know this, but Soulja Boy was the lead role in a very successful children's movie a while ago. Released to theaters nationwide in 2006 was Honey, I Crunked the Kids.
A proud father has six children. He always calls his wife "mother of six" to her displeasure.
One night at a party, he yells across the room, "Mom of six, we're going now." She replies: "I'll be right there, father of four."
A person had a child named Bl, another named Es, and one named S. The next was named You. They were a very unholy family.
Their children were shamed upon because their names spell out "Bless you."
Why did Sally fall off the swings?
Because she had no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally!
Schools be like "dRuGS arE BaD," then prescribe a 6-year-old Adderall for not wanting to sit in the same spot for 8 hours.
What do you call a bus full of kids? A killstreak.
What's the difference between an ISIS militant base and a Pakistani children's school?
I don't know, I just fly the drone.
"Everyone knows I love kids better than people."
- Joe Biden. (A.K.A. Pedo Peter.)
What do you call a group of special ed kids with guns? Special forces.
What's yellow all over and can't swim?
A school bus full of children.
You know what you could use? An orphan as a punching bag.
What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
What is the name of a show for kids?
Barney.
So, I was in the woods the other day raping this woman when she screamed, 'Please! Think of my children!' I said, 'Ooo, you kinky bitch.'
A man sacrificed children who played Roblox, so when someone knocked on the door, they said, "An administrator has banned you from heaven!"
Why can't orphans have a funeral? Because their parents won't be there.
What do birds and children have in common?
If you shoot them, they die.
What do orphans and sperm donor kids have in common? They don't have dads.
What do you call an orphanage that's not an orphanage?
A homeless shelter.
Why did they make bus stops? So the bus driver would know where to pick the orphan up.