What film do orphans hate?
"Instant Family."
Children Jokes
Why do shows have a family? Because they are "Pair-rents"!
What does a man with 20 children do now?
Now he eats sausages even with cellophane.
What do orphans not see on a controller?
The home button.
What's the food orphans can't eat?
Family-sized ice cream.
What's the same about boxes and children?
They're both found in basements.
I call my penis the truth because the truth always comes out of children’s mouths.
What does the SpongeBob intro and a pedophile have in common?
"Are you ready kids?"
What do priests give children?
Syphilis.
Bill Clinton and Joe Biden are on a sinking ship.
Joe Biden says we need to save the women and children. Bill Clinton says, "Screw the women and children." Joe Biden says, "Do we have that much time?"
Why is it wrong to drive around in a van offering children candy?
Because you’ll have more success if you give out video games!
One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Claus,
"Please send me a sibling!"
Santa Claus wrote him back and said, "Okay, send me your mother!"
My husband and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
I was asked to design a website for an orphanage, so I decided to design it without the home page.
I'd like to have kids one day.
I don't think I could stand them any longer than that, though.
Not many people know this, but Soulja Boy was the lead role in a very successful children's movie a while ago. Released to theaters nationwide in 2006 was Honey, I Crunked the Kids.
A proud father has six children. He always calls his wife "mother of six" to her displeasure.
One night at a party, he yells across the room, "Mom of six, we're going now." She replies: "I'll be right there, father of four."
A person had a child named Bl, another named Es, and one named S. The next was named You. They were a very unholy family.
Their children were shamed upon because their names spell out "Bless you."
Why did Sally fall off the swings?
Because she had no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally!
One morning a dad was sitting and watching TV.
His daughter comes in and says, "Dad! Why is my name Rose?" He replied, "Oh! It's because when you were born, a rose petal fell on your head." "Cool," Rose said.
The second daughter walked in and said, "Dad! Why is my name Daisy?" He replied, "Oh! It's because when you were a baby, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Awesome," Daisy said.
The third daughter came in and said, "DuUuUDeEeEeDrrrrrrrrr!!!" "SHUT UP, CINDER BLOCK!!!"
