Children jokes
Orphans are pretty tough. I mean, you never see them running home...
Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick Jill's candy.
But Jack got a shock and a mouth full of cock because Jill's real name is Randy.
Mother: Who do you like more, me or your dad?
Liam: I like you both.
Mother: Ok, if I go to america and your dad goes to paris, where will you go?
Liam: I will go to paris.
Mother: That's means you like dad more.
Liam: No, its because i like paris.
Mother: Ok, fine, if I go to paris and your dad goes to america, where will you go?
Liam: I will go to America.
Mother: Why?
Liam: Because I have already gone to paris.
During a discussion at Sunday school, a nun asks the children what they think God takes you by when you die. A kid responds, "I think God takes you by your feet, because once I walked into my parents' room and my mom's feet were in the air and she was screaming, "Oh God, I'm coming!!!"
Why don't orphans go to the park?
Because their parents can't push them on the swing!
What do you call an orphan with a boner?
Porn.
Why can't orphans play Monopoly?
Because they never get a full house.
So, I just got kicked out of the orphanage library for putting a book about parents in the fiction section.
In Home Alone, if the kid was an orphan, it would just be called "Alone."
Why do orphans bully people?
Because they can't get suspended.
Contact Parent _______
I recently became the coach of an orphanage baseball team.
Because I hate dealing with parents.
I told my friend that we should dress up as P. Diddy and Drake for Halloween and ask parents if their kid wants to come over for a sleepover.
Children are like a box of Christmas decorations. I keep them in my basement until it’s time to hang them from a tree.
Can orphans eat at a family restaurant?
What is an orphan's dad's job?
A magician because he makes himself disappear.
A few kids were talking about how big their houses were. Kids were pointing to huge houses and huge apartments. One little boy said, "Bet I have the biggest home." To everyone's surprise, he pointed right towards the massive orphanage.
Why do orphans love school so much?
They have no HOMEWORK.
Why don't Asian kids believe in Santa Claus?
Because they're the ones who made the toys.
Q: Why do orphans like boomerangs?
A: They come back, unlike their parents.
What does a turtle and a pedophile have in common? They both want to get there before the hare does.