Children jokes

Come, my children, to the bread cult!

Orphans are the best targets for bullying, since who are they gonna cry to? Their parents?

Why don’t orphans live in villages?

Because they will get abandoned.

When a Muslim dies, he gets 72 virgins.

It's the same thing with priests, except the virgins are children.

Can people please shut up about "male privileges"? There is no right that men have that women don't.

Women have the right to genital integrity. Women can vote without having to sign up for the draft.

Women have the right to choose parenthood; men do not.

Women have the right to be assumed caregivers for children.

Women have the right to call unwanted, coerced sex rape.

Women have the right to lower jail sentences for the same crime.

Women have the right to not be assumed sexual predators.

Women have the right to government departments that solely serve their interests. They also have the luxury of "women only" events that men cannot even dream of. (They even took the boy scouts away from us.)

Women have the right to government-enforced gender quotas.

Women have the right to exclusive tax benefits for being a business owner.

Women have the right to domestic violence shelters.

Women have the right to not be assumed the primary aggressor in a domestic dispute.

Women have the right to rape a man or boy, and if she gets pregnant from that man/boy, they can sue him for child support.

So it is women who have more rights.

So shut up, feminists, please.

Why was Michael Jackson so loved? He touched so many children in so many special ways.

What do you call children born from incest?

Gross Domestic Product.

What’s a depressed kid’s favorite game? Hangman.

What does gum in my d*ck have in common?

Both get chewed on by little kids.

Adam and Eve had 3 male children, the only children on Earth. How did they reproduce?

Michael Jackson was on a boat with a bunch of children. The boat captain comes up to him and says, "Michael, we've come into some trouble and the boat is about to sink. We need to get off the boat right now." "But what about the children?" The captain said, "F*** them." Michael Jackson responded, "Is there enough time?"

What's the difference between a priest and Woody from Toy Story?

Woody goes limp when a kid walks in the room.

What’s a depressed kid's favorite game? Hangman.

What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas?

Gloves........ just kidding, he hasn’t opened it yet.

Dad: "I'm giving all your toys to the orphanage."

Kid: "Why are you doing that?"

Dad: "So you won't get bored there."

A family had a very disobedient dog. It would bite the children’s hands when they pet the animal, the dog would piss on everything, and it would chew their shoes. This is why it was adopted.

What do you get when you have 10 chicken nuggets and little Jimmy tries to take one?

10 chicken nuggets and a dead little Jimmy.

Remember, children, when you're hungry at 3:00, cook forks for 10 minutes, ok?

Mr. Smith had four daughters. Each of his daughters had a brother. How many children does Mr. Smith have?

What's the difference between my car and a school bus? A school bus takes them back home.