Why is Santa's sack so big?
Because he comes once a year.
Children Jokes
I live next to a kindergarten, and yesterday they had a fire drill. It was kinda weird because normally it's me who has a drill around little children.
Why are orphans not allowed in stores?
Because else they would actually feel at home.
1, 2 buckle my shoe.
3, 4 buckle some more.
5, 6 Nike kicks.
1, 2 buckle my shoe.
3, 4 open the door.
5, 6 Nike kicks.
What do babies and explosives have in common?
They both make a noise when you throw them.
I still don't know what's the worst, most dangerous place to take your children on holiday, but, for certain, it's either Vatican City or Neverland Ranch.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
It depends on how hard you throw them.
Stop with the dead baby jokes. We're running out of babies.
What’s yellow and can’t swim?
A bus full of children.
Q: What's the difference between me and a priest? A: A priest isn't turned on by dead children.
New skin unlocked: Blood splatter!
(Obtained by running over 69 children.)
How old are 9/11 victims?
"There, toddlers, here come the airplane!"
What is a geographical discovery? Little Johnny found his geography homework undone.
Ring.. Ring.. Yes this is Dave from the Orphanage, "you make 'em we take 'em", how may I be of service?
What's the difference between an orphan and Stuart Little?
Stuart Little got chosen!
Little Johnny walks into the living room and asks his parents, "Mom, Dad, what do you get when you crossbreed a bulldog and shih tzu?"
The mother and father shrug and say, "We have no idea, Johnny. What do you get?" and little Johnny replies, "You get a bullshit."
What do my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can’t be found.
What is the thing that orphans miss the most?
Their parents.
What's the similarities between dark humor and cancer?
It's funnier when kids get it.
What did the girl and the orphan have in common? Their parents weren't home.
