Children jokes
What do a Make-A-Wish kid and mosquitoes have in common?
They both got a 10% survival rate...
How do you start a rave? Throw a flash bang into an epileptic children's ward.
How do adults like their cookies like their orphans?
Homemade.
What’s the difference between a priest and target?
Nothing, they both have children’s pants half off.
Why can orphans never be kidnapped?
No one can tell them that "your parents said that they would be delayed and I was told to pick you up."
Movies now
Me: *reading a sign* "Children are a gift from god."
Me: "No, they are a gift from the underworld."
Mother: "Yeah, I picked you up at the gift shop on my way out."
Mother: "You are a spawn of Satan."
I drove through a school zone and found out you can drag a speed bump 😬.
Ukraine be like dead children...
RUSSIA BE LIKE DEAD GENERALS!
Women are like the Twin Towers. After you smash them, and if some little people start jumping out, the government is gonna tax the shit outta you.
Why does an orphanage have milk?
Because Dad never came back with the milk.
What are the differences between Santa and Joe Biden?
The kids actually want to sit on Santa’s lap.
When you go to an orphanage for a field trip: When the workers said, "I remember you as a kid."
What do orphans and blind kids have in common: They both can't see their parents.
What do I call a white person with 15 black kids?
Coach.
Why do orphans become hookers?
They can call someone daddy.
7 little children gathered around the bed Bill Cosby's fantasy.
All he wants to do is tickle the kids, it's as plain as can be.
7 cellmates gathered around the bed ready to rape Bill Cosby instead.
What is illegal in Africa? Water guns.
What do you call a Catholic priest who molests children?
A Catholic priest.
Somebody shouts "Fire!"
Man 1: Get the children out!
Man 2: F*** the children!
Man 3: We don't have time!
If orphans aren’t religious, they really have no father. 😂