Children jokes
Do you know what dogs and orphans don't have in common?
Dogs get loved.
Someone locked me out of my house today... At least the children in my basement aren't my problem anymore.
"Rock-a-bye baby on the treetop, When the wind blows, the baby will drop. Then the baby will lay on the ground, Not moving a muscle, not making a sound."
What did the parents say to the orphan? "Where are your parents?"
Oh... wait.
Orphans: Where are my parents?
Random person: In the bed.
What's the one upside to being an orphan?
You never have to worry about your jokes being family friendly.
Why do orphans play Minecraft? Because they have no home.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
It depends on how hard you throw them.
What’s yellow and can’t swim?
A bus full of children.
Stop with the dead baby jokes. We're running out of babies.
Q: What's the difference between me and a priest? A: A priest isn't turned on by dead children.
What's the difference between a priest and Woody from Toy Story?
Woody goes limp when a kid walks in the room.
Little Sally comes home from school one day and says to her mom, "Mommy, mommy, you won’t believe it! Little Johnny just pulled out his PP in class." The mother responded, "Well, what did it look like?" Sally said, "It looks like a peanut." The mother said, "Oh, it was small." "No, it was salty," said Sally.
What's the difference between an orphan's parents and his boomerang?
One of them actually came back.
I drove through a school zone and found out you can drag a speed bump 😬.
People should build orphanages next to graveyards so at least orphans can see their parents.
How old are 9/11 victims?
"There, toddlers, here come the airplane!"
New skin unlocked: Blood splatter!
(Obtained by running over 69 children.)
Why did Michael Jackson divorce LMP? She didn't want to give him kids.
Little Johnny walks into the living room and asks his parents, "Mom, Dad, what do you get when you crossbreed a bulldog and shih tzu?"
The mother and father shrug and say, "We have no idea, Johnny. What do you get?" and little Johnny replies, "You get a bullshit."