Children jokes
I live next to a kindergarten, and yesterday they had a fire drill. It was kinda weird because normally it's me who has a drill around little children.
Why is Santa's sack so big?
Because he comes once a year.
Why are orphans not allowed in stores?
Because else they would actually feel at home.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
It depends on how hard you throw them.
Stop with the dead baby jokes. We're running out of babies.
What’s yellow and can’t swim?
A bus full of children.
Q: What's the difference between me and a priest? A: A priest isn't turned on by dead children.
How old are 9/11 victims?
"There, toddlers, here come the airplane!"
New skin unlocked: Blood splatter!
(Obtained by running over 69 children.)
What did the girl and the orphan have in common? Their parents weren't home.
There is gonna be a huge party at the orphanage tonight because the parents ain't home.
Farrah Fawcett, upon arriving at the pearly gates, God asked her, for having led such an honest life, to grant her one wish. Farrah simply requested that the children of the world would be safe.
Five hours later, Michael Jackson died.
Why did Michael Jackson divorce LMP? She didn't want to give him kids.
Little Johnny walks into the living room and asks his parents, "Mom, Dad, what do you get when you crossbreed a bulldog and shih tzu?"
The mother and father shrug and say, "We have no idea, Johnny. What do you get?" and little Johnny replies, "You get a bullshit."
What is the thing that orphans miss the most?
Their parents.
What do my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can’t be found.
What is a geographical discovery? Little Johnny found his geography homework undone.
Ring.. Ring.. Yes this is Dave from the Orphanage, "you make 'em we take 'em", how may I be of service?
What's the difference between an orphan and Stuart Little?
Stuart Little got chosen!
How do people grade pedophiles?
1st grade to 8th grade.
(I know it's orphan jokes but still)