Children jokes
Where in the nursery rhyme does it say Humpty Dumpty was an egg?
My wife and children are leaving me over my obsession with horse racing.
And they're off!
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
It depends on how hard you throw them.
What’s yellow and can’t swim?
A bus full of children.
Stop with the dead baby jokes. We're running out of babies.
when the me and the boys got caught walking around the school during recess
Q: What's the difference between me and a priest? A: A priest isn't turned on by dead children.
Little Sally comes home from school one day and says to her mom, "Mommy, mommy, you won’t believe it! Little Johnny just pulled out his PP in class." The mother responded, "Well, what did it look like?" Sally said, "It looks like a peanut." The mother said, "Oh, it was small." "No, it was salty," said Sally.
What's the difference between a priest and Woody from Toy Story?
Woody goes limp when a kid walks in the room.
People should build orphanages next to graveyards so at least orphans can see their parents.
I drove through a school zone and found out you can drag a speed bump 😬.
What do my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can’t be found.
What's the difference between an orphan's parents and his boomerang?
One of them actually came back.
What is the thing that orphans miss the most?
Their parents.
Little Johnny walks into the living room and asks his parents, "Mom, Dad, what do you get when you crossbreed a bulldog and shih tzu?"
The mother and father shrug and say, "We have no idea, Johnny. What do you get?" and little Johnny replies, "You get a bullshit."
Farrah Fawcett, upon arriving at the pearly gates, God asked her, for having led such an honest life, to grant her one wish. Farrah simply requested that the children of the world would be safe.
Five hours later, Michael Jackson died.
Why did Michael Jackson divorce LMP? She didn't want to give him kids.
What did the girl and the orphan have in common? Their parents weren't home.
New skin unlocked: Blood splatter!
(Obtained by running over 69 children.)
How old are 9/11 victims?
"There, toddlers, here come the airplane!"
What is a geographical discovery? Little Johnny found his geography homework undone.