Children

Children jokes

Orphan

Why are orphans not allowed in stores?

Because else they would actually feel at home.

Orphan

How did the orphan operate the phone? He didn't. He didn't understand the homepage.

Baby

How many babies does it take to paint a wall?

It depends on how hard you throw them.

Memes

Priest

Q: What's the difference between me and a priest? A: A priest isn't turned on by dead children.

Priest

What's the difference between a priest and Woody from Toy Story?

Woody goes limp when a kid walks in the room.

Pedophile

How do people grade pedophiles?

1st grade to 8th grade.

(I know it's orphan jokes but still)

Orphanage

People should build orphanages next to graveyards so at least orphans can see their parents.

Orphan

What's the difference between an orphan's parents and his boomerang?

One of them actually came back.

Wish

Farrah Fawcett, upon arriving at the pearly gates, God asked her, for having led such an honest life, to grant her one wish. Farrah simply requested that the children of the world would be safe.

Five hours later, Michael Jackson died.

Dad

What do my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can’t be found.

Bullshit

Little Johnny walks into the living room and asks his parents, "Mom, Dad, what do you get when you crossbreed a bulldog and shih tzu?"

The mother and father shrug and say, "We have no idea, Johnny. What do you get?" and little Johnny replies, "You get a bullshit."

Orphanage

Does an orphanage have daddy issues?

Yes, because he didn't come back from getting the milk.

Skin

New skin unlocked: Blood splatter!

(Obtained by running over 69 children.)

Orphan

What did the girl and the orphan have in common? Their parents weren't home.