Children jokes
Roses are red, violets are black, I traded my son for 10 Big Macs.
What does Earl Bradley and an Xbox have in common?
They both get turned on by children.
Why do kids prefer to spend more time with their dad than their mom?
They already know that their dad is gonna get "Milk" and never return.
I'm making a website for orphans. [I] won't add the home page.
Why can’t orphans play GTA and get five stars? Because they’re not wanted!
When the speedbump in a school zone screams, so you go faster.
1.) What’s yellow and can’t swim?
- A bus full of children.
2.) Did you hear about the Pillsbury Dough Boy?
- He died of a yeast infection.
3.) I will never forget my grandad’s last words...
- “You’re still holding the ladder, right?”
4.) I have a fish that can breakdance...
- Only for 20 seconds though, and only once.
5.) Give a man a match and he will be warm for a few hours...
- Light a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
So there's this uncle of female and male twins, and his sister, the mother of the twins, is stuck trying to think of a name for the children. The uncle says, "I've got an idea!", and the mother gets excited, thinking this could be it. She says, "What should their names be?"
The uncle replies, "Well for your daughter, Denise." "That's a nice name," comments the mother, "but what about my son?" The uncle simply replies, "Denephew".
There was a kid crying. I asked him where his parents were. He cried more. I love working at an orphanage.
How do orphans have a family reunion? They look in the mirror.
Why can't orphans walk through doors?
Because they don't have a house to walk into.
Why do orphans have no sense of humor?
I guess they've never heard a dad joke.
Remember kids, when you're angry, burn down an orphanage. Then they'll really be living the hard knock life.
Technically speaking, "ur mom/ur father" jokes have no effect on orphans.
Knock knock. Who's there? Parents. Parents who? That's what an orphan would say.
Kids in the backseat make accidents, and accidents in the back seat make kids.
What's rap boats got in common with plastic bags? They both a danger to young children.
Punch an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?
Why do orphans like milk so much?
Because they got no milk as a baby.
Kim Jong Il: Knock knock.
Political Prisoner: Who's there?
Kim Jong Il: Boo.
Political Prisoner: Boo who?
Kim Jong Il: Boo hoo? Don't cry just because I executed your wife and enslaved your children. You at least get to eat today, my friend.