Children jokes

Why was Michael Jackson so loved? He touched so many children in so many special ways.

A man is sitting on a bench at a playground where children are playing. A man named Chris comes up and asks, “Which one is yours?” The man said, “I don’t know, I’m still deciding.”

When I was in 4th grade, we wrote letters to kids in the hospital. I wrote: "It is a bumpy road but soon it will be a straight path." Not many people know I was talking about their heart monitor.

Little Johnny tried phone sex, but the holes were too small.

What do you call a group of depressed kids?

Suicide squad.

If you are ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

Jack and Jill went up the hill to have a little fun, but stupid Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.

What do children and lights have in common? They both hang from ceilings!

Not funny, here’s another.

Why can’t China play baseball? They ate the bat.

How do orphans have a family reunion?

They use a Ouija board.

When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat children into the fire.

Why can't an orphan go to McDonald's? There's no point in the words "happy meal."

Did you know that statistically, 1 in 10 people live next to a pedophile? Not me though, I live next to a 10 year old boy with a fat ass.

Kid: "Hey, are you an orphan?"

Friend: "Yeah, but you are too."

Kid: "At least my parents wanted me."

Obama, Trump, and Clinton are on the Titanic. The ship hits the iceberg and is going down.

Obama: "This is terrible! We've got to do something -- save the women and children!"

Trump: "Screw the women and children!"

Clinton: "Do you think we have time...?"

What do you call children born from incest?

Gross Domestic Product.

Mr. Smith had four daughters. Each of his daughters had a brother. How many children does Mr. Smith have?

Yo mamma is so ugly, she made blind kids cry.

Jon said: What do you call a pregnant woman?

Mike said: I don’t know, what?

Jon said: Kinder surprise.

What did the priest say to the other in the orphanage?

"Let us prey together."

There were 1 mom and 3 kids. The first kid comes up and asks, "Why is my name Daisy?" The mom says, "Because when you were born a daisy fell on your head." The second kid asks their mom, "Why is my name Butterfly?" The mom says, "Because when you were born a butterfly landed on your head." Then the third kid yells, "Ahjoejienfkef." The mom says, "Shut up, Brick!"