Children jokes
Why was Michael Jackson so loved? He touched so many children in so many special ways.
Parents: "I'm taking your toys to the orphanage." Kid: "Why?" Parents: "So you don't get bored there."
He is looking for children. If you don't know who EDP445 is, look him up.
Be careful around EDP445.
Little Johnny tried phone sex, but the holes were too small.
When I was in 4th grade, we wrote letters to kids in the hospital. I wrote: "It is a bumpy road but soon it will be a straight path." Not many people know I was talking about their heart monitor.
If you are ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Kid: "Hey, are you an orphan?"
Friend: "Yeah, but you are too."
Kid: "At least my parents wanted me."
What do you call a group of depressed kids?
Suicide squad.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to have a little fun, but stupid Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.
Why can't an orphan go to McDonald's? There's no point in the words "happy meal."
What do children and lights have in common? They both hang from ceilings!
Not funny, here’s another.
Why can’t China play baseball? They ate the bat.
How do orphans have a family reunion?
They use a Ouija board.
When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat children into the fire.
Did you know that statistically, 1 in 10 people live next to a pedophile? Not me though, I live next to a 10 year old boy with a fat ass.
Jon said: What do you call a pregnant woman?
Mike said: I don’t know, what?
Jon said: Kinder surprise.
Obama, Trump, and Clinton are on the Titanic. The ship hits the iceberg and is going down.
Obama: "This is terrible! We've got to do something -- save the women and children!"
Trump: "Screw the women and children!"
Clinton: "Do you think we have time...?"
What do you call children born from incest?
Gross Domestic Product.
Yo mamma is so ugly, she made blind kids cry.
Mr. Smith had four daughters. Each of his daughters had a brother. How many children does Mr. Smith have?
When 9/11 happened, we changed our airport policies. When school shootings happen, we haven't changed anything since the shooting at Columbine in 1999. And we say we want the children to be safe.