So little Susie came home and said, "Mom, little Johnny showed me his pecker."
And her mom said, "WHAT?!"
And little Susie was like, "Yeah, it reminded me of a peanut." Her mom said, "Oh, because it was so small?"
Susie said, "No, because it tasted salty."
Why doesn’t Joe Biden visit children with cancer in hospitals?
Because he can’t sniff their hair.
Why can't orphans do homework? They don't have a home.
What is an orphan's dad's job?
A magician because he makes himself disappear.
Why do orphans want to become criminals? To know what it feels like to be wanted.
What do you call an orphan if every other orphan gets picked?
Someone: Ugly?
Me: No, trick question, they are still an orphan.
Johnny is walking along, and a priest is coming the other way. Johnny says, "Hey, mister, why are you wearing your collar backwards?"
The priest says, "Because I'm a father."
Johnny says, "Yeah? Well, my old man's got three kids, and he don't wear his collar backwards."
The priest says, "You don't understand, son. I have thousands of children."
Johnny says, "You should wear your fuckin' trousers backwards."
You know those paper families you cut out?
Well, I put one of those in an orphanage.
What's the best part of being a pedophile? You will never have a wife.
Me: "I like kids."
Why wouldn’t Mrs. Grapes leave her children behind?
Because she loves raisin kids.
Why did the little girl's ice cream melt?
She was on fire.
Why is it ok to smack an orphan?
What are they going to do? Tell their parents!
Why don't parents get school shooting jokes? They're aimed at a younger audience.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed? Tell them to clap til' their parents get home.
Q: Why can orphans swim?
A: They have or-fins.
What does a priest and a clown have in common?
They both make children cry.
What did the pedophile say to the nutcracker?
"Aren't you a little too young to be doing that?"
What do McDonald's and a priest have in common? They both put their meat in 10 year old buns.
What's a pedophile's favorite part of Halloween? Free delivery.
