Childhood jokes
I was watching my daughter play at the park. A woman came up to me and asked which one was mine. I said I was still choosing.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple tree?
Apples get picked.
One day, Little Susie got her monthly bleeding for the first time in her life.
Not quite certain what was happening, and somewhat frightened, she decided to tell Little Johnny. Little Susie dropped her panties and showed Little Johnny what was happening.
Little Johnny's eyes opened wide in amazement. "You know," he said, "I'm not a doctor, but it looks like someone just ripped your balls off!"
This one kid I knew had Down syndrome, and he turned a mirror upside down trying to get rid of it.
Why can you slap an orphan?
Are they going to tell mommy?
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple? Apples get picked.
Why don't orphans get offended by dark humor?
Because it can't hit home.
Kid: Mom! You lied to me!
Mom: When?
Kid: You told me that my little brother was an Angel!
Mom: Sooo?
Kid: Then why didn’t he fly when I threw him off the balcony?
Mom: WHAT!!!??!!
Q: Can orphans hit a home run?
A: No, they don't know what it's like to have a home to run to.
Why couldn't the orphan buy chips?
They were all family sized.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they don’t know where home is.
Why was Michael Jackson kicked out of boy scouts? He was up to a pack a day!
I always hated being born a Catholic as a kid. The way you have to keep kneeling down, bending over, and standing up all within a few minutes of each other while at church. I was always thinking, “For God’s sake, just pick a position and fuck me!”
Where does an orphan come from?
Daddy getting milk.
What's the difference between $1 million and baby teeth?
I don't have $1 million in my wallet.
One day, an orphan bought a boomerang. He threw it, and it didn’t come back.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
because they'll never make it home.
My jokes are like kids with cancer; they never get old.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to find their dad again.