My sister told me only onions make you cry, so I always hit her back when she hit me, but I hit her with a shoe only to catch her cry.
Childhood Jokes
What is the only thing worse than being told you're adopted?
Still being in the orphanage at 13.
Why couldn’t the orphan run away from home?
Because it didn’t have one.
Police: Come with me, I’m taking you home.
Orphan: Well, we need to find them first.
Police: Then I don’t need to take you home.
What's the difference between apples and orphans?
Apples get picked.
Why did the kid cross the playground? To get to the other slide!
Why do orphans love boomerangs?
They always come back.
Why do orphans have to get an iPhone 12?
Because it doesn’t have a home button.
Are you angry?
Go bully an orphan!
What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
What is the most awkward moment when Helen Keller is playing pin the tail on the donkey?
Her friends aren’t sure whether to blindfold her.
What if Game of Thrones and Harry Potter antagonism had a child?
Coldemort!
I have a stepladder because my real ladder left when I was just a kid.
Oh wait, I'm thinking of...
Why did the orphan cry when he got back home?
Because he did not have one.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they can’t find home.
My teacher asked what was the worst time you got paddled by your parents. My one friend said that he got in trouble and got whacked by a stick. I raised my hand and said that my dad whacked me with his dick.
My dad and I have been playing hide and seek.
It's been 15 years and I still haven't found him.
It's sad when the person that gave you memories becomes a memory.
You know one of the worst feelings ever to exist?
When your parents and friends all still see the happy little kid you used to be...
...but in reality, that kid has been long gone for years. (not my words)
What is an orphan's favorite toy?
Answer: A boomerang, because it is the only thing that comes back to them.
Little Johnny walked into his parents' room to see them going at it.
He asked his mom what they were doing, and she said, "Uh, we're play fighting," and he's like, "With no clothes on?"
She said, "Yeah," and so he said, "Let me join you then..."
My father touched me yesterday. I called him a priest.
