Childhood jokes

Why do kids like to pick on orphans?

Because they can't call their parents.

Why can't an orphan play baseball? Because he can't get home.

What is the only thing worse than being told you're adopted?

Still being in the orphanage at 13.

I went to visit my childhood home. I asked the owners if I could come in for some nostalgic memories. They said no and slammed the door on me. My parents are so mean.

My sister told me only onions make you cry, so I always hit her back when she hit me, but I hit her with a shoe only to catch her cry.

Why did the kid cross the playground? To get to the other slide!

What's the difference between apples and orphans?

Apples get picked.

Orphans are pretty tough. I mean, you never see them running home...

Yo, dad went to get milk and still hasn't came back 10 years later!

Why do orphans love boomerangs?

They always come back.

Why do orphans have to get an iPhone 12?

Because it doesn’t have a home button.

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?

They told her to go find the light.

When you ask your mom for candy but you grab from the wrong drawer...

Me as a 5-year-old: How do you relate to the Twin Towers?

Friend: What?

Me: Every time I think of them, I feel sad.

Why couldn’t the orphan run away from home?

Because it didn’t have one.

Police: Come with me, I’m taking you home.

Orphan: Well, we need to find them first.

Police: Then I don’t need to take you home.

My teacher asked what was the worst time you got paddled by your parents. My one friend said that he got in trouble and got whacked by a stick. I raised my hand and said that my dad whacked me with his dick.

My dad and I have been playing hide and seek.

It's been 15 years and I still haven't found him.

What is the most awkward moment when Helen Keller is playing pin the tail on the donkey?

Her friends aren’t sure whether to blindfold her.

Are you angry?

Go bully an orphan!

What are they gonna do, tell their parents?