Childhood jokes
Why is an orphan afraid to play baseball?
They are afraid they won't find home.
What do you call an orphan family? None existent.
My sister told me only onions make you cry, so I always hit her back when she hit me, but I hit her with a shoe only to catch her cry.
What is the only thing worse than being told you're adopted?
Still being in the orphanage at 13.
Why can't orphans use a phone?
Because they don't have a home screen.
Orphans are pretty tough. I mean, you never see them running home...
Yo, dad went to get milk and still hasn't came back 10 years later!
How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?
They told her to go find the light.
Why couldn’t the orphan run away from home?
Because it didn’t have one.
Police: Come with me, I’m taking you home.
Orphan: Well, we need to find them first.
Police: Then I don’t need to take you home.
My 1 year old nephew had a stroke. I know, sounds bad... but he would have needed to learn how to speak and walk anyways.
Why do orphans love boomerangs?
They always come back.
Why do orphans have to get an iPhone 12?
Because it doesn’t have a home button.
Why did the kid cross the playground? To get to the other slide!
Me as a 5-year-old: How do you relate to the Twin Towers?
Friend: What?
Me: Every time I think of them, I feel sad.
When you ask your mom for candy but you grab from the wrong drawer...
What's the difference between apples and orphans?
Apples get picked.
My teacher asked what was the worst time you got paddled by your parents. My one friend said that he got in trouble and got whacked by a stick. I raised my hand and said that my dad whacked me with his dick.
My dad and I have been playing hide and seek.
It's been 15 years and I still haven't found him.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.