Childhood jokes
What do orphans like about tattoos? They stick around.
Little Johnny was living with his grandpa during the summer. Well, grandpa had a beer, and Johnny said, "Grandpa, let me get a sip of that." Grandpa said, "Well, lil Johnny, does your d**k reach your a**?" And lil Johnny said, "Well no sir." And grandpa said, then no, you can't.
Later that day, papaw (grandpa) had a cigar, and Johnny said let me get a hit of that, and papaw asked, "Well, Johnny, does your d**k reach your a**?" And Johnny said no again. Then papaw was shooting his gun, and Johnny asked if he could shoot it, and grandpa asked Johnny if his d**k reached his a**, and Johnny said no.
Well, after supper, Johnny's grandma made Johnny some ice cream (the most amazing bowl of ice cream EVER), and grandpa said, "Johnny, let me get a bit of that ice cream," and Johnny asked papaw, "Well, papaw, does your d**k reach your a**?" And papaw said, "Well, Johnny, as a matter of a fact, it does," and Johnny said, "Good, now go f**k yourself because you ain't getting none of my ice cream!"
What thing can an orphan do best?
Stay at home alone.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
They don’t know where home is.
Today, I decided to go visit my childhood home. I asked the residents if I could come inside because I was feeling nostalgic, but they refused and slammed the door in my face.
My parents are the worst.
My face when my mom said we could go to McDonalds
I bought an orphan kid an iPhone.
Guess what? It had no home button.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite drink?
Milk, because his parents never came back with it.
Why do orphans hate hide and seek?
Their parents went to play hide and seek years ago.
What do you give a armless kid for Christmas?
Nothing because they can't open the gift.
Parents: "OH! Honey, we were just wrestling!"
Little Johnny: "OK! I'll join you!"
Kids make a lot of plans for people who can't drive anywhere.
Why was Michael Jackson so loved? He touched so many children in so many special ways.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home, lol.
Orphans maybe got phones, but they don't have a home button.
What is an orphan's favorite song? "Lost Boy."
New Teacher: I was an orphan as a kid.
Students: Damn.
Teacher: Is anyone missing?
Students: Your parents!
Are you angry?
Go bully an orphan!
What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Do midgets still start their childhood stories off with, "When I was little"?
Jack and Jill went up the hill to find their dad again.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
They can’t find home.