Childhood jokes
Chuck Norris drove his parents to school.
What's the number one thing in an orphan's search history?
"How to find a family."
The only thing the orphan learned from his dad is the hide-and-seek skill to hide for 18 years. He tried it out; now he has infinite milk.
My best friend is black. It really pissed me off when my mom sold him.
Yo mama so ugly that she's the reason monsters hide under the beds.
Do you think midgets start their childhood stories off with, "When I was little"?
A kindergarten teacher is chatting with little John. The teacher asks John, "John, can you get me some pencils?" John replies, "Sure, I'll do it!" and accidentally knocks over a vase.
The teacher says, "Oh, John!"
John asks, "What does that mean?" The teacher replies, "It's kind of a synonym for 'You loser!'"
Autistic kids are like cats. Prove me wrong.
How are rape and airplanes similar?
The ride gets more annoying when the kid starts screaming.
Why do I have to do the stupid joke, mum?
Fritzchen was supposed to remember three sentences. He asks his mother, "Mom, do you have any news?" The mother replies angrily, "Stop it!"
Fritzchen goes to see his father, who is watching a football match. When a goal is scored, he shouts, "That's it!"
Finally, he asks his sister, "Sister, do you have anything to say?" She is currently reading a story about a fool and says, "He is the dumbest person in the world!"
The next day at school, the teacher asks, "Fritzchen, did you learn the phrases?" Fritzchen replies, "Stop it!" The teacher is shocked: "Fritzchen! Don't say that to me. Go to the principal immediately!" Fritzchen shouts, "That's it!" Arriving at the principal's office, he asks, "Who do you think I am?" Fritzchen promptly replies, "He's the dumbest person in the world!"
Donald Trump travels back in time to talk to his 10-year-old self.
When he sees himself, he says, "Do you see me? I am you, but almost 70 years older."
His 10-year-old self asks him, "Am I going to be famous?"
Trump replies, "Oh yeah, I became president of the United States. Not once. Twice!"
10-year-old Donald was shocked. But he became even more shocked when he heard the next sentence from his current self: "And now take off your pants!"
My husband wants to tell me about my childhood.
Ok, I can't access the panel without the password.
What is a little zombie's favorite stuffed animal?
It's a deady bear.
What's the difference between my father and acne?
Acne waited for me to be a teenager before coming on my face.
How do terrorists feed their children?
"Here comes the airplane!"
Why don't orphans like getting lost?
Because if people find them, they ask, "Where are your parents?"
Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She was born without arms.
What is a Care Bear's favorite job?
Take care of bears.
Why can't orphans open a website?
Because they don't have a home page.