Hannes asks his mother, "Mom, why are the peanuts called peanuts?" Mom replies, "Because they grow in the earth." Hannes replies, "Then why don't strawberries grow in the earth?" Mom replies: "The giraffes originally had a short neck, but it has grown from giraffe to giraffe. The same thing happened with the strawberries. They grew in the earth and grew higher from harvest to harvest until at some point their stems protruded from the earth." Hannes replies, "Then why is my neck so short?" The mother replies: "So many people died in the First and Second World Wars that our necks could not develop at all. It was the same in the Thirty Years' War. We humans have been in so many wars. The giraffes in none and that's why our neck is so short."
LLB- me and Shrek built a theme park for you mummy and it’s called Dummy pee pee poo poo doo doo land cos Shrek likes to poop
Shrek- should I pull the trap
*LBB’s mom walks into the trap*
LBB and Shrek- surprise we’re mailing you to Peepoo Peepoo AB
LBB- why did Santa take the kitty and all of my toys Mummy
His mom- Maybe because your the second most massive shit stain besides Caillou
*Krampus comes down the chimney to eat LBB*
Krampus- should’ve been better Little Bear
LLB -help Mummy he’s the Scratchy monster
Shrek- just kidding it’s not Krampus but indeeds Me and Black Donkey instead, and were going to poop on your floor
Duggie- hopefully Marvins doesn’t see us and by the way want some purplish koolaid
Why isn't there a pregnant Barbie doll? Ken came in another box.
Do you remember blowing bubbles when you were younger?
Well, Bubbles is back in town and was asking about you!
one time my dad was an orphan, so I questioned where he learned to parent
When I was a kid, my father would tell me that the black Santa Claus was was coming to our house for Christmas. So, instead of putting out cookies and milk, we would put out cornbread and purple kool-aid.
Ms Smith: Johnny, when I was a little girl, I was told if I made ugly faces, it would freeze, and I would stay like that. Little Johnny: Well, Ms Smith, you can't say you weren't warned.
What does broccoli and sex have in common? If you were forced to have it as a kid, you’re gonna hate it as an adult.
What if Game-of-thrones and Harry-Potter -Antagonism had a child? Coldemort!
My son told me he wanted to be Batman when he grows up that little shit wants to be gone down an alley
Why was Wacko Jacko willing to write a song for the film Free Willy?
He thought that the film's title was a nice phrase to yell out in primary school playgrounds.
Having homosexual parents must be terrible.
Either you have a double dosage of dad jokes or you are stuck in a cycle of "go ask your mom".
childhood skipped @iissoo.00 fr😵💫
Are you angry?
Go Bully an Orphan!
WHat are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Some rules of childhood cricket:
1. Whose bat his batting
2. Mother called,
To go while fielding. Then the turn will not be missed.
3. If the Umpire's decision is not acceptable, the decision of the Spectator, Front Uncle or Neighbor Aunt shall be final.
I was gonna say when you were born your mum saw you and screamed but I remembered you were adopted...
I still can’t forget that tiny little dead fish in my blue lunchbox.
Q. What is an orphans favourite game
A. Hide and seek
why did the orphan cry when he got back home
because he did not have one
