Child jokes
We need to stop making jokes about orphans. They will tell their parents. Oh wait...
What part is usually missing in an orphan’s computer system?
Motherboard.
We are always joking around about being adopted, when really we are still living in the orphanage.
What's the best thing about f*cking twenty-eight-year-olds?
There's twenty of them.
Why do orphans never play baseball?
'Cause they can never get a home run.
What's red and bubbly and scratches at the microwave glass?
A baby in the microwave!
What if little Johnny was doing drugs?
"Johnny, Johnny?"
"Yes, Papa?"
"Eating sugar?"
"No, Papa..."
In 2001, my parents took me to 9/11. I was soaring towards it with excitement!
What is Michael Jackson's favorite movie?
The Boy in the Plastic Bubble? Why? The boy who was in the bubble.
Why didn't the orphan go to the orphanage?
He didn't understand having a home, even if it was temporary.
What do priests give children?
Syphilis.
What if Game of Thrones and Harry Potter antagonism had a child?
Coldemort!
My girlfriend really wants me to get her pregnant so she would have a father figure in her life for once.
When I'm chilling and a little kid ruins my moment.
Mum finds out child cheats in math test.
Mom says, "There is no cheating in this house."
Child: "Then why did you cheat with my math teacher last night?"
What do you call a rich Chinese child?
"Ching Ching..."
Why did the orphan sit alone in the corner?
They wanted some family time.
What do you call an orphan family photo?
A selfie.
Follow for candy, kids.
Like for pizza, kids.
Comment for kids.
Me explaining my child: when your mom is sitting on a table during her period, it's called the periodic table.