Child jokes
We are always joking around about being adopted, when really we are still living in the orphanage.
What did the priest say when he walked into an elementary school?
Let us prey.
If your parents never had children, chances are, you won't either.
What's the best thing about f*cking twenty-eight-year-olds?
There's twenty of them.
Why do orphans never play baseball?
'Cause they can never get a home run.
What's red and bubbly and scratches at the microwave glass?
A baby in the microwave!
What if little Johnny was doing drugs?
"Johnny, Johnny?"
"Yes, Papa?"
"Eating sugar?"
"No, Papa..."
What is Michael Jackson's favorite movie?
The Boy in the Plastic Bubble? Why? The boy who was in the bubble.
In 2001, my parents took me to 9/11. I was soaring towards it with excitement!
Why didn't the orphan go to the orphanage?
He didn't understand having a home, even if it was temporary.
What do priests give children?
Syphilis.
What if Game of Thrones and Harry Potter antagonism had a child?
Coldemort!
What song do supportive parents of a closeted child love?
“The Son Will Come Out Tomorrow.”
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they can’t get a home run.
My girlfriend really wants me to get her pregnant so she would have a father figure in her life for once.
Kid: What is an orphan's favorite breakfast?
Teacher: What?
Kid: Fruity Pebbles with water.
Teacher: Why water?
Kid: 'Cause his dad never came back with the milk.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
Why did the child drop their ice cream?
They got hit by a bus.
Mom: I was an orphan once. The kid: Oh, ok, idgaf. Mom: And you're gonna be too! :) The kid: Ok, idgaf- WAIT WHAT THE FU-
What's breakdancing, twitching, and noisy?
A child with epilepsy.