Child jokes
The mailman came to drop the mail off.
Me (son): I went and told my mommy that daddy is home.
Mommy tells me, "You got no daddy."
Then I say, "I hear you always call the mailman daddy."
Why could not the 11 year old watch the pirate movie?
because it was rated RRRRGGGG.
I am guessing you don't understand :(
My wife and I have made a difficult choice and have decided we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details, and we can drop them off tomorrow.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
They don’t know where home is.
What should you never say to an orphan?
"Your Mom."
When you ask your mom for candy but you grab from the wrong drawer...
Why can't an orphan read?
He couldn't go to school without a parent's signature.
I make baby mush.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
'Cause they can't find home.
What does a baby and a grenade have in common?
They both make noise after you throw them.
Q: What's an orphan's favorite game?
A: The Sims 4, because then they can simulate having a family.
Why can you hit orphans?
Because they can't tell their parents.
What's the difference between a paralyzed kid and a father?
The father gets to leave, while the kid stays.
When you see a kid yelling and you wanna leave :(((((((
What is cold and alone?
An orphan's parent.
An orphan once said, "I will call my mum and go home."
A homeless kid once said he will go home.
Child abortion is like tax evasion: the more you lose, the less problems you have.
I was raised as an only child, which I think was hard for my brother.
Hi, I'm Saul Goodman. Did you know that you have rights? The Constitution says you do, and so do I. I believe that until proven guilty, every man, woman, and child in this country is innocent, and that's why I fight for you, Albuquerque!
What should orphans do when their parents aren’t there? The usual.