Child

Child jokes

Orphan

Why are orphans lucky?

Because they can get in trouble and nobody can tell their parents.

Onion

What's the difference between onions and children? Nothing, when you cut one everyone around you cries.

Orphan

How do you make an orphan cry? Ask to go over to his house if his parents are OK with it.

Memes

Mailman

The mailman came to drop the mail off.

Me (son): I went and told my mommy that daddy is home.

Mommy tells me, "You got no daddy."

Then I say, "I hear you always call the mailman daddy."

Movie

Why could not the 11 year old watch the pirate movie?

because it was rated RRRRGGGG.

I am guessing you don't understand :(

Wife

My wife and I have made a difficult choice and have decided we do not want children.

If anybody does, please just send me your contact details, and we can drop them off tomorrow.

Candy

When you ask your mom for candy but you grab from the wrong drawer...

Orphan

Why can't an orphan read?

He couldn't go to school without a parent's signature.

Grenade

What does a baby and a grenade have in common?

They both make noise after you throw them.

Orphan

Q: What's an orphan's favorite game?

A: The Sims 4, because then they can simulate having a family.

Kid

What's the difference between a paralyzed kid and a father?

The father gets to leave, while the kid stays.