What is cold and alone?
An orphan's parent.
What's the difference between a paralyzed kid and a father?
The father gets to leave, while the kid stays.
What if Game of Thrones and Harry Potter antagonism had a child?
Coldemort!
What should orphans do when their parents aren’t there? The usual.
Hi, I'm Saul Goodman. Did you know that you have rights? The Constitution says you do, and so do I. I believe that until proven guilty, every man, woman, and child in this country is innocent, and that's why I fight for you, Albuquerque!
When you ask your mom for candy but you grab from the wrong drawer...
The mailman came to drop the mail off.
Me (son): I went and told my mommy that daddy is home.
Mommy tells me, "You got no daddy."
Then I say, "I hear you always call the mailman daddy."
An orphan once said, "I will call my mum and go home."
A homeless kid once said he will go home.
Child abortion is like tax evasion: the more you lose, the less problems you have.
What is an animal that kids get for Christmas and can easily give to someone else?
A white elephant.
Kid: What is an orphan's favorite breakfast?
Teacher: What?
Kid: Fruity Pebbles with water.
Teacher: Why water?
Kid: 'Cause his dad never came back with the milk.
Mom: I was an orphan once. The kid: Oh, ok, idgaf. Mom: And you're gonna be too! :) The kid: Ok, idgaf- WAIT WHAT THE FU-
What's breakdancing, twitching, and noisy?
A child with epilepsy.
Why did the child drop their ice cream?
They got hit by a bus.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
What is an orphan's favorite toy?
A boomerang.
Why are orphans lucky?
Because they can get in trouble and nobody can tell their parents.
What do you call a parent that is pregnant?
Buy one, get one free.
Your birth certificate is like an apology from the condom factory...
Why didn't the orphan go to the orphanage?
He didn't understand having a home, even if it was temporary.
