Child jokes
What do orphans call a holiday?
A bit of soil and some leaves as a blanket.
Johnny is very attached to his parents. He asks to take a shower with her when she gets in. He looks down and asks, "What's that?" The mother replies, "That's my garage." He looks up and asks, "What are those?" The mother responds, "Those are my headlights."
He then goes and takes a shower with his dad. He looks down, "Daddy, what's that?" The dad replies, "That's my car." He goes to sleep that night and wakes up because of a bad dream. He goes and tells his mother and she says, "You can lay with me." He falls fast asleep then wakes up once more because of falling off the bed. He gets back up and gets under the covers. Then he feels the bed moving. He looks under the covers to investigate and sees them going at it. He then yells, "Mommy, turn on you're headlights, Daddy's parking his car in you're garage!" *THUD*
Little Sally found out that she had hair on her private area and went up to her mom and asked, "Mom, I have hair on my privates, what is it?"
"Oh honey, that's your monkey," the mom says.
So little Sally runs up to her big sister and says, "My monkey has hair on it!" So the sister replies with a laugh, "You think that's cool? My monkey is already eating bananas!"
BRAKING NEWS!
Little Johnny's dead!
I make baby mush.
I saw a kid crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were. God, I love working in an orphanage.
What's yellow and can't float?
A school bus full of children.
what do you call a baby in an oven?
my next meal.
Why did the child die? To see God, our father.
If you're ever bored, just beat up an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Me: Are you an orphan?
Boy: Yeah, what gave me away?
Me: ....ur parents.
What did the orphan get for Christmas? Nothing, because his parents ran away.
Double whammy. Orphan jokes are like a kid with cancer; it never gets old. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣👌👌👌👌👌
Why do priests appreciate educated children?
They don't spit.
What do you call an autistic daughter?
All the children ate at the Indian restaurant, except for Simon, because he was eaten by the restaurant owner.
Why are women and children evacuated first in a disaster?
So we can think about a solution in silence.
What did the kid with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves!
Just kidding, he hasn’t opened it yet.
What’s an orphan's favorite event?
Homecoming.
A young boy is in a tepee with his father, just after his sister's naming ceremony. Curious to how it works, he asks his dad, "Father, why is my sister's name Tulip?"
His father responds, "That is her name because a tulip was the first thing she saw when she first opened her eyes."
The boy was still puzzled. "What about big brother Sparrow?"
"His name is Sparrow because a sparrow landed on him when he first began walking."
The boy finally asked how he was named. "Well, we decided to name you the same way as your sister."
The boy nods with understanding, "Thank you, father."
"No problem, Two-Dogs-Fucking."
Why does an orphan play soccer?
Because it's the only love they get.