Child jokes
We are always joking around about being adopted, when really we are still living in the orphanage.
What's the difference between a Doberman Pinscher and a Social Worker?
Eventually, you can get a baby back from a Doberman Pinscher.
What’s the difference between Micheal Jackson and a grocery bag?
One is plastic and dangerous for children to play with, the other is used for carrying groceries.
What did the mother say to Michael J. on the beach?
"Excuse me sir, but you're in my son!"
A pedophile is at a school parent night. He's holding hands with an eight-year-old girl when he's approached by another parent. She says to him, "Oh, what a darling little girl you have there." The pedophile replies, "No," then points his finger to a child across the room and says, "That's my child."
Memes
What's the best thing about f*cking twenty-eight-year-olds?
There's twenty of them.
Why did the family move away?
Because they lost their son.
Why do orphans never play baseball?
'Cause they can never get a home run.
What's red and bubbly and scratches at the microwave glass?
A baby in the microwave!
What if little Johnny was doing drugs?
"Johnny, Johnny?"
"Yes, Papa?"
"Eating sugar?"
"No, Papa..."
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
They can't find the home plate.
Follow for candy, kids.
Like for pizza, kids.
Comment for kids.
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair?
TIMMAHHHH!
What is an orphan’s least favorite children’s game?
House.
What do you call an orphan family photo?
A selfie.
Why can't orphans watch PG?
They don't have any parental guidance.
What cookie has an orphan never had?
Homemade.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't make a homerun. 😂😂
Me and my friends jumped some orphans. Who will they tell? Their parents?