Child jokes

What do you call a kid with Down syndrome trying to beat Minecraft?

“A sped runner.”

If I saw a homosexual or transsexual man do so much as TOUCH my child, he would be dead, zombified, and castrated by the end of the day.

Protect your young'uns from these degenerate freaks and live off the grid so they have no bearing on your life.

How do you tell a child they have cancer?

With a smile on your face.

So an orphan was crying in a corner in the dark. Then a man came over and asked, "Why are you crying?"

Then said, "Do you want me to get your parents?"

Why do orphans not play baseball?

'Cause they can't find home.

One day, little Johnny and little Susan were in bible class. Little Susan had been tired that day, so she kept falling asleep. The teacher said to little Susan, "Who is our Lord and Savior?" Little Johnny poked her in the butt with a push pin, and she yelled, "Jesus Christ!" The teacher goes, "That's right, go back to bed." Then, the next thing the teacher asked was, "Who gave up their son for our sins?" Little Johnny poked her again, and she yelled, "God Almighty!" The teacher says, "That's right, go back to bed." The next question the teacher asked was, "What did Adam say to Eve after their 13th child?" Little Johnny poked her in the butt again. She yelled, "If you stick that thing in me again, I am going to break it in half and shove it up your own ass and see how you like it!"

Why can't orphans play baseball?

Because they can't find their home base.

What did the mother say to Michael J. on the beach?

"Excuse me sir, but you're in my son!"

I love telling jokes about orphans.

What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

What’s the difference between Micheal Jackson and a grocery bag?

One is plastic and dangerous for children to play with, the other is used for carrying groceries.

We need to stop making jokes about orphans. They will tell their parents. Oh wait...

What part is usually missing in an orphan’s computer system?

Motherboard.

Muslim child to his mother: "Mom, why is my backpack so heavy?"

Mom: "Allahu Akbar, my son, Allahu Akbar!"

Why can’t orphans go on school field trips?

[Parent’s signature: __________]

What do 3-year-old boys say after going to confession?

"My bum hurts!"

Someone went up to an orphan and asked him why he was talking to the air. He said he was talking to his mom.

We are always joking around about being adopted, when really we are still living in the orphanage.

What's the difference between a Doberman Pinscher and a Social Worker?

Eventually, you can get a baby back from a Doberman Pinscher.

What's the best thing about f*cking twenty-eight-year-olds?

There's twenty of them.

Why do orphans never play baseball?

'Cause they can never get a home run.