Q: Why was the 4 year old anti-vaxer crying?
A: He was in a mid-life crisis.
Why was the orphan stupid?
Because his parents couldn't guide him.
Old woman: You are such a darling child. Please come and see me again next year.
A year later, as child walks up to the door of the old lady's house...
Old woman: Oh my! Goodness sakes, child! Have you grown, or have I shrank???
Child: Both.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
A Mario & Luigi joke.
What are the Mario bros' view on child support?
Mario: The parents are obligated to provide for the child and help them the best they could.
Luigi: LMAO I GOTTA GO!
What's the one upside to being an orphan?
You never have to worry about your jokes being family friendly.
What did the mom say when her child came out?
"The head was so big!"
Why do orphans love Home Alone?
They like to see a familiar picture.
I asked my dad why a grown man would play Pokémon Go?
He said “Wynaut.”
What's the difference between onions and children? Nothing, when you cut one everyone around you cries.
Why could not the 11 year old watch the pirate movie?
because it was rated RRRRGGGG.
I am guessing you don't understand :(
My girlfriend really wants me to get her pregnant so she would have a father figure in her life for once.
What song do supportive parents of a closeted child love?
“The Son Will Come Out Tomorrow.”
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they can’t get a home run.
Follow for candy, kids.
Like for pizza, kids.
Comment for kids.
My 3 year old sister kept saying, "I like your cut, G." Every time she does, I dodge and close my eyes, but she's the one who always ends up running.
Me explaining my child: when your mom is sitting on a table during her period, it's called the periodic table.
You learn from mistakes!
That's why you're an only child!
When I'm chilling and a little kid ruins my moment.
When you see a kid yelling and you wanna leave :(((((((
