Child jokes
What should you never say to an orphan?
"Your Mom."
What do you call a genderless child?
It's not a mister, it's not a misses, I'm more for a mystery.
What's the difference between onions and children? Nothing, when you cut one everyone around you cries.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
They don’t know where home is.
My wife and I have made a difficult choice and have decided we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details, and we can drop them off tomorrow.
The mailman came to drop the mail off.
Me (son): I went and told my mommy that daddy is home.
Mommy tells me, "You got no daddy."
Then I say, "I hear you always call the mailman daddy."
How do you make an orphan cry? Ask to go over to his house if his parents are OK with it.
Why could not the 11 year old watch the pirate movie?
because it was rated RRRRGGGG.
I am guessing you don't understand :(
My 1 year old nephew had a stroke. I know, sounds bad... but he would have needed to learn how to speak and walk anyways.
What should orphans do when their parents aren’t there? The usual.
Hi, I'm Saul Goodman. Did you know that you have rights? The Constitution says you do, and so do I. I believe that until proven guilty, every man, woman, and child in this country is innocent, and that's why I fight for you, Albuquerque!
I make baby mush.
When you ask your mom for candy but you grab from the wrong drawer...
Why did orphans play Poppy Playtime?
To get a family.
Why can't an orphan read?
He couldn't go to school without a parent's signature.
What's the one upside to being an orphan?
You never have to worry about your jokes being family friendly.
What did the mom say when her child came out?
"The head was so big!"
What’s the difference between a fruit and an orphan? One gets chosen :)
My 3 year old sister kept saying, "I like your cut, G." Every time she does, I dodge and close my eyes, but she's the one who always ends up running.
And Mary said God had given her a child, so Joseph went and joined Fathers For Justice.