What is an animal that kids get for Christmas and can easily give to someone else?
A white elephant.
Child Jokes
My 3 year old sister kept saying, "I like your cut, G." Every time she does, I dodge and close my eyes, but she's the one who always ends up running.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
Mom: I was an orphan once. The kid: Oh, ok, idgaf. Mom: And you're gonna be too! :) The kid: Ok, idgaf- WAIT WHAT THE FU-
Why did the child drop their ice cream?
They got hit by a bus.
In 2001, my parents took me to 9/11. I was soaring towards it with excitement!
Why didn't the orphan go to the orphanage?
He didn't understand having a home, even if it was temporary.
What are the three worst years of a black child's life?
First grade!
I gave a blind kid a hand grenade and told him it's a beyblade.
What song do supportive parents of a closeted child love?
“The Son Will Come Out Tomorrow.”
My girlfriend really wants me to get her pregnant so she would have a father figure in her life for once.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they can’t get a home run.
Kid: What is an orphan's favorite breakfast?
Teacher: What?
Kid: Fruity Pebbles with water.
Teacher: Why water?
Kid: 'Cause his dad never came back with the milk.
What if Game of Thrones and Harry Potter antagonism had a child?
Coldemort!
Me explaining my child: when your mom is sitting on a table during her period, it's called the periodic table.
What do you call a parent that is pregnant?
Buy one, get one free.
What do you call a rich Chinese child?
"Ching Ching..."
Why did the orphan sit alone in the corner?
They wanted some family time.
Do you want to know my motto when I’m bored?
Punch an orphan, who is he going to tell, his mom?
Why was the orphan stupid?
Because his parents couldn't guide him.
