Child

Child jokes

Child Support

A Mario & Luigi joke.

What are the Mario bros' view on child support?

Mario: The parents are obligated to provide for the child and help them the best they could.

Luigi: LMAO I GOTTA GO!

Orphan

What's the one upside to being an orphan?

You never have to worry about your jokes being family friendly.

Orphan

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apple gets picked.

Dad

I asked my dad why a grown man would play Pokémon Go?

He said “Wynaut.”

Woman

Old woman: You are such a darling child. Please come and see me again next year.

A year later, as child walks up to the door of the old lady's house...

Old woman: Oh my! Goodness sakes, child! Have you grown, or have I shrank???

Child: Both.

Mom

What did the mom say when her child came out?

"The head was so big!"

Orphan

What’s the difference between a fruit and an orphan? One gets chosen :)

Animal

What is an animal that kids get for Christmas and can easily give to someone else?

A white elephant.

Sister

My 3 year old sister kept saying, "I like your cut, G." Every time she does, I dodge and close my eyes, but she's the one who always ends up running.

Orphan

Mom: I was an orphan once. The kid: Oh, ok, idgaf. Mom: And you're gonna be too! :) The kid: Ok, idgaf- WAIT WHAT THE FU-

Bus

Why did the child drop their ice cream?

They got hit by a bus.

9/11

In 2001, my parents took me to 9/11. I was soaring towards it with excitement!

Orphan

Why didn't the orphan go to the orphanage?

He didn't understand having a home, even if it was temporary.

Year

What are the three worst years of a black child's life?

First grade!

Son

What song do supportive parents of a closeted child love?

“The Son Will Come Out Tomorrow.”

Father Figure

My girlfriend really wants me to get her pregnant so she would have a father figure in her life for once.

Orphan

Kid: What is an orphan's favorite breakfast?

Teacher: What?

Kid: Fruity Pebbles with water.

Teacher: Why water?

Kid: 'Cause his dad never came back with the milk.