Child jokes
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair?
TIMMAHHHH!
What is an orphan’s least favorite children’s game?
House.
What cookie has an orphan never had?
Homemade.
When I'm chilling and a little kid ruins my moment.
You learn from mistakes!
That's why you're an only child!
Memes
Me explaining my child: when your mom is sitting on a table during her period, it's called the periodic table.
Follow for candy, kids.
Like for pizza, kids.
Comment for kids.
Why can't orphans watch PG?
They don't have any parental guidance.
Do you want to know my motto when I’m bored?
Punch an orphan, who is he going to tell, his mom?
Why was the orphan stupid?
Because his parents couldn't guide him.
Q: Why was the 4 year old anti-vaxer crying?
A: He was in a mid-life crisis.
What do you call a parent that is pregnant?
Buy one, get one free.
My wife and I have decided that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
I make baby mush.
When you ask your mom for candy but you grab from the wrong drawer...
What should you never say to an orphan?
"Your Mom."
The mailman came to drop the mail off.
Me (son): I went and told my mommy that daddy is home.
Mommy tells me, "You got no daddy."
Then I say, "I hear you always call the mailman daddy."
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
They don’t know where home is.
My wife and I have made a difficult choice and have decided we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details, and we can drop them off tomorrow.
Why can't an orphan read?
He couldn't go to school without a parent's signature.