Child jokes
Mum finds out child cheats in math test.
Mom says, "There is no cheating in this house."
Child: "Then why did you cheat with my math teacher last night?"
Why is an orphan really good at being naughty?
Because they have no one to tell them off.
What's the difference between orphans and apples?
Apples get picked.
I spit on an orphan. What is he going to do? Tell his parents?
Why are orphans bad at baseball? They can never find home.
This kinda reminds me of when my mum was feeding me. She always used to say, "Open wide for the delicious plane."
So little Johnny was on the bus, and the bus driver already hated him. So he started to talk to himself JUST loud enough for the bus driver to hear.
"If my dad was a bull, and my mom was a cow, that would make me... a little bull!"
"If my dad was a rooster, and my mom was a hen, that would make me... a little rooster!"
And by this point, the bus driver was fed up with him, so he said:
"Ok little Johnny, I got one for you: If your dad was a drunk, and your mom was a whore, what would that make you?"
Little Johnny smiled and said: "A bus driver!"
"Yes, officer! It was a requirement to run over that child. It matched perfectly with the beat drop!"
They say watching child porn will get me 20 years in jail. I prefer to think of it as two 10-year-olds.
Where can you never take an orphan to dinner?
Family restaurants.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
They can’t find home.
What did the blind deaf orphan child get for Christmas?
cancer.
Why can't orphans play baseball? They can't find their parents.
What do you call a 5-year-old with no friends?
A Sandy Hook survivor.
What's the similarity between Catholic Priests and McDonalds? They both like sticking their meat in 6-year-old buns.
Why can’t orphans play baseball? Because they can’t find home.
What do children and lights have in common? They both hang from ceilings!
Not funny, here’s another.
Why can’t China play baseball? They ate the bat.
Why do orphans go on holiday?
To see what family is like.
On April Fool's, go to an orphanage and tell them that their parents are here to pick them up.
An officer confronts two congressmen.
He informs them, \"I’m looking for a couple of child molesters.\"
The two look at each other, turn to the officer and exclaim, \"Sure! We’ll do it!\"
A rapist walks into a school and asks if they had 5 year olds in the school, and the teacher replies, "Are you that same person who took Jimmy?"
The man replies, "Yes," and the teacher says, "Take Susie too; she's being a little bitch."