Child jokes
Your birth certificate is like an apology from the condom factory...
You learn from mistakes!
That's why you're an only child!
Why did the orphan sit alone in the corner?
They wanted some family time.
Mum finds out child cheats in math test.
Mom says, "There is no cheating in this house."
Child: "Then why did you cheat with my math teacher last night?"
What do you call a rich Chinese child?
"Ching Ching..."
Me explaining my child: when your mom is sitting on a table during her period, it's called the periodic table.
What do you call a parent that is pregnant?
Buy one, get one free.
When I'm chilling and a little kid ruins my moment.
Why are orphans lucky?
Because they can get in trouble and nobody can tell their parents.
What is an orphan's favorite toy?
A boomerang.
Why do orphans love Home Alone?
They like to see a familiar picture.
I asked my dad why a grown man would play Pokémon Go?
He said “Wynaut.”
If a lion ate a child, is the lion a child predator?
What is cold and alone?
An orphan's parent.
When you see a kid yelling and you wanna leave :(((((((
What's the difference between a paralyzed kid and a father?
The father gets to leave, while the kid stays.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't make a homerun. 😂😂
Why can't orphans play baseball?
'Cause they can't find home.
Q: What's an orphan's favorite game?
A: The Sims 4, because then they can simulate having a family.
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair?
TIMMAHHHH!