Child jokes

An orphan once said, "I will call my mum and go home."

A homeless kid once said he will go home.

Child abortion is like tax evasion: the more you lose, the less problems you have.

I was raised as an only child, which I think was hard for my brother.

Hi, I'm Saul Goodman. Did you know that you have rights? The Constitution says you do, and so do I. I believe that until proven guilty, every man, woman, and child in this country is innocent, and that's why I fight for you, Albuquerque!

What should orphans do when their parents aren’t there? The usual.

A Mario & Luigi joke.

What are the Mario bros' view on child support?

Mario: The parents are obligated to provide for the child and help them the best they could.

Luigi: LMAO I GOTTA GO!

What's the one upside to being an orphan?

You never have to worry about your jokes being family friendly.

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apple gets picked.

I asked my dad why a grown man would play Pokémon Go?

He said “Wynaut.”

Old woman: You are such a darling child. Please come and see me again next year.

A year later, as child walks up to the door of the old lady's house...

Old woman: Oh my! Goodness sakes, child! Have you grown, or have I shrank???

Child: Both.

What did the mom say when her child came out?

"The head was so big!"

What’s the difference between a fruit and an orphan? One gets chosen :)

Why do orphans love Home Alone?

They like to see a familiar picture.

What is an animal that kids get for Christmas and can easily give to someone else?

A white elephant.

My 3 year old sister kept saying, "I like your cut, G." Every time she does, I dodge and close my eyes, but she's the one who always ends up running.

Why can't an orphan play baseball?

Because they can't find home.

Mom: I was an orphan once. The kid: Oh, ok, idgaf. Mom: And you're gonna be too! :) The kid: Ok, idgaf- WAIT WHAT THE FU-

Why did the child drop their ice cream?

They got hit by a bus.

In 2001, my parents took me to 9/11. I was soaring towards it with excitement!

Why didn't the orphan go to the orphanage?

He didn't understand having a home, even if it was temporary.