Child jokes
Why can’t orphans go on school field trips?
[Parent’s signature: __________]
Why is it OK to hit an orphan?
Because they can’t tell their parents.
Dark Humor is like a child with cancer. It never gets old.
I will call my kid Monday, because whenever I see him, I feel disappointment.
A German priest went to America for a few months. Unfortunately for him, he did not speak the best English. He stayed with a beautiful, young single woman who worked at a nearby orphanage.
Every day, he visited her in the orphanage, and he always brought her small gifts, and of course to the young children.
The young woman thought the priest was flirting with him, and she knew he was not married. She left that thought in the back of her mind for a few weeks.
A few weeks later, she finally brought up her nerve to ask him. She asked him why he always visited her, and why all the gifts for her and the children.
Of course, due to his bad English, he struggled a bit with his sentence, but he said in his thick German accent, "Vell, I visit you and your, your littles, because the kind girls here are very beautiful and cute."
She was quite amused, and blushed a bit. The man was also a bit nervous, and appeared to want to leave her office.
The Priest then excused himself, and went to read the orphans a bedtime story.
He then muttered to himself, "Ach, she's catching on to me! Stupid! Zey are called little girls and boys, not child boys and girls."
What time do babies get dirty?
Playtime.
Who does an orphan play soccer with?
No one.
What's the difference between a 14-year-old boy and an 8-year-old boy?
The 14-year-old is on top, the 8-year-old is on the bottom.
A father and son duo are sitting at a table, eating breakfast. The father looks at the child and says, "I'm hungry." The child looks at the father and replies, "Hi Hungry, I'm Son." The father calls his father and asks why he was named Hungry.
What’s blue and comes in brownies?
Cub Scouts.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple gets picked.
I asked my dad why a grown man would play Pokémon Go?
He said “Wynaut.”
What is an orphan's favorite movie?
Annie.
Girl: "Dad."
Dad: "Do I love you?"
Girl: "I am a prostitute."
Dad: "Yes."
Woman 2: "Dad."
Dad: "Right?"
Woman 2: "I'm a woman too."
Father: "God, do you love children?"
Boy: "Yes..."
I hated church growing up as a child. It was always standing, kneeling, sitting, standing, kneeling, sitting. I wish the priest would just pick a position and f*** me!
Why are half the orphans missing? Because I took them, of course! :]
Why can't orphans play baseball? They can't find their parents.
What's the difference between an orphan and baseball?
In baseball, you know where home is.
Random person: "What's one thing your ex gave you that you can't get rid of?"
Man: *Shows a picture of his child.*
You know why pedophiles get away with molesting children?
Because who are they gonna tell? Not their parents.