Child jokes
My son asked me how I'm so clean, "inside out." I told him because of bleach. The next day, I found him drinking the bleach.
He is looking for children. If you don't know who EDP445 is, look him up.
Be careful around EDP445.
The orphan started crying at school when he got suspended and had to go home.
So a guy is walking with a young boy into the woods.
The boy turns to the man and says, "Hey mister, it's getting dark out, and I’m scared... Can we go back now?"
So the man says: "How do you think I feel, I have to walk back alone!"
If you are ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
What is the difference between an iPhone and an orphan?
An iPhone has a button to go home.
Q: Why can't orphans be gay?
A: They have nobody to call daddy.
I would name my daughter Awesome so I can tell people that I'm fucking awesome.
What do children and lights have in common? They both hang from ceilings!
Not funny, here’s another.
Why can’t China play baseball? They ate the bat.
When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat children into the fire.
What did the little boy say to the fat man?
How many Japs did you get?
One day I came to my mom and said, "MOM!!! I can make a butterfly!"
Mom: "No you can't..."
Me: *throws butter out the window* Me: "Look I made a butterfly!"
lol this isn't funny but I hope you liked it.
A kid asks his mom, "Mom, how much do you love me?" The mother responds with, "I love you as much as I love your brother." The kid looks confused and says, "But I don't have a brother." The mother smiles and says, "Well, I guess my love is not existing."
What does a kid and wine have in common?
Shit, I forgot, but they're both locked in my cellar right now.
Why don't orphans get offended by dark humor jokes?
It can't hit home.
Orphan: "Why can’t I watch a PG movie?"
Me: "They are Parental Guidance."
What is an Iraqi kid's favorite game?
Minesweeper.
When 9/11 happened, we changed our airport policies. When school shootings happen, we haven't changed anything since the shooting at Columbine in 1999. And we say we want the children to be safe.
Where can you never take an orphan to dinner?
Family restaurants.
Obama, Trump, and Clinton are on the Titanic. The ship hits the iceberg and is going down.
Obama: "This is terrible! We've got to do something -- save the women and children!"
Trump: "Screw the women and children!"
Clinton: "Do you think we have time...?"