Child jokes
Why did little Susie fall off the swing?
Because she has no arms or legs.
Knock knock.
"Who's there?"
Not Susie.
How many children does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Not 27, because my basement is still dark.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't make a home run.
A man sees a small boy begging for money. He walks up to him and asks him if he is an orphan.
The boy asks, "What gave me away?"
The man responds, "Your parents."
I saw a kid crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were. God, I love working in an orphanage.
Memes
Why can you slap an orphan?
Are they going to tell mommy?
Why'd the orphan cross the road? He was told his parents were on the other side.
What is the difference between Michael Jackson and my uncle? Nothing, they both steal children.
Some people ask why jokes exist. I say, when a mommy and daddy love each other very much, they have sex, and they make another one of you.
What do you call a kid watching Star Wars by themselves?
Hans Solo.
If we're all God's children, what's so special about Jesus?
Dark humor is like cancer; it's funnier when kids get it.
Why do pedophiles go to a nursery?
Early access.
Why are orphans only able to have iPhone X's? Because it doesn't have a home button.
Where does an orphan come from?
Daddy getting milk.
What do an ice cream cone and a Ukrainian orphanage have in common?
Children scream when they melt.
Australian says to American: why do you have such bad gun laws?
American: Self defense.
Australian: Self defense against 50 innocent children?
There's a kid named Little Johnny who would always cuss. Well, one day, he was sitting in class and the teacher said, "Let's play a game." So the game was she calls out a letter and someone raises her hand and tells her a word that begins with that letter. The teacher says "A". Little Johnny raises his hand and the teacher thinks to herself, "Well, he might say something like a**." So the teacher calls on Sally. Sally says "apple". The teacher says "B". Little Johnny raises his hand. The teacher thought, "No, he might say something like b!tch." So the teacher goes all the way to R. The teacher says "R". Little Johnny raises his hand and says, "Me, me, please, I really know one." Then the teacher thinks to herself, "Well, there's no cuss word that starts with R," so she said, "Okay, Johnny, give me a word that starts with R." Little Johnny says, "A rat!" and the teacher, very pleased, says, "Very good, Johnny. What type of rat?" Little Johnny says, "A big gosh damn mother freaker."
Sorry, I had to edit some word, but y'all know what I meant.
What's the difference between a trampoline and a baby? I take my shoes off when I jump on a trampoline.
If it's on the clock, it's old enough for the cock.