Child jokes
How many orphans does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they don't even got a home.
What’s a reverse exorcism?
It’s when the demon tells the priest to get out of the child.
So the other day, I saw a child in a wheelchair.
He was getting bullied a lot, so I came up and said, "Why don't you stand up to those bullies?"
What do the Spanish people call child abuse? Pedrophile.
Why did the orphan become a criminal? It wants to be wanted.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't make a home run.
Why can you slap an orphan?
Are they going to tell mommy?
Why'd the orphan cross the road? He was told his parents were on the other side.
I saw a kid crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were. God, I love working in an orphanage.
How many children does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Not 27, because my basement is still dark.
Why did little Susie fall off the swing?
Because she has no arms or legs.
Knock knock.
"Who's there?"
Not Susie.
What is the difference between Michael Jackson and my uncle? Nothing, they both steal children.
What do you call a kid watching Star Wars by themselves?
Hans Solo.
Some people ask why jokes exist. I say, when a mommy and daddy love each other very much, they have sex, and they make another one of you.
If we're all God's children, what's so special about Jesus?
Dark humor is like cancer; it's funnier when kids get it.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends how hard you throw them.
So, I was in the woods the other day raping this woman when she screamed, 'Please! Think of my children!'
I thought, 'Ooo, you kinky bitch.'
Australian says to American: why do you have such bad gun laws?
American: Self defense.
Australian: Self defense against 50 innocent children?
Why are orphans only able to have iPhone X's? Because it doesn't have a home button.