Child jokes

A kid is watching TV and sees an ad about adopting an animal. He then turns to his mother and says, “Do we have to adopt a donkey?” “No,” replied the mom, “but we decided to do it... we adopted you.”

Michael Jackson and Kelly Clarkson both did shady stuff to children. Michael Jackson said that there is nothing wrong with sharing a bed with unrelated small children. Kelly Clarkson said that there is nothing wrong with physically beating a small child.

The thing is, though, only one of them made "Billie Jean" or "Beat It", and the other is just a typical karaoke country singer. So no surprise people gave Wacko Jacko a pass.

Why did the orphan want to become a prostitute?

To get a daddy.

Have you heard about the pedophile who was found guilty of robbery?

- He robbed children of their innocence.

How many babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Must be more than 9 cause my basement is still dark.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall?

Depends how hard you throw them.

Alex: Dad, can we get me a little brother from the orphanage?

Dad: Sure, Alex! We're here!

Orphanage manager: Alex! You are so big now!

Alex: Dad, what is she talking about?!

Little Johnny and his teacher were telling each other jokes and riddles. His teacher asked, "Three birds were sitting on a wire, a hunter shot one. How many are left?" Little Johnny replied, "None, because the sound would scare the other two away." His teacher said, "No, but I like the way you think!"

Little Johnny replied, "Alright, now I have one for you. What goes in dry and hard and comes out soft and hard?" His teacher was shocked and said, "Little Johnny!" He replied, "It's gum! But I like the way you think!"

So, I was in the woods the other day raping this woman when she screamed, 'Please! Think of my children!'

I thought, 'Ooo, you kinky bitch.'

What's the difference between a broken shovel and a young child?

The shovel doesn't cry when you swing it into a wall repeatedly.

Dad: "Son, does mommy like having lady-friends over?"

Son: "Nah, mostly men."

Dad: "Do you think you'd be comfortable telling that to a judge in court?"

An orphan's first word would be "orphan keeper."

Girls are like math, if they're under 10, use your fingers.

Whenever you're mad, just punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

Things to kids:

Dragapult: "Ooh, look! Some ammo."

A Good Parent: "My baby!"

Michael Jackson: (HeeHee)

Why was Michael Jackson so loved? He touched so many children in so many special ways.

The orphan started crying at school when he got suspended and had to go home.

What’s an orphan’s least favorite drink?

Milk, because his parents never came back with it.

Today a child asked if I was an angel. I asked why, and he said, "Mommy says that angels have marks on their wrists because they don't want to be in this world."

My son asked me how I'm so clean, "inside out." I told him because of bleach. The next day, I found him drinking the bleach.