Alex: Dad, can we get me a little brother from the orphanage?
Dad: Sure, Alex! We're here!
Orphanage manager: Alex! You are so big now!
Alex: Dad, what is she talking about?!
Little Johnny and his teacher were telling each other jokes and riddles. His teacher asked, "Three birds were sitting on a wire, a hunter shot one. How many are left?" Little Johnny replied, "None, because the sound would scare the other two away." His teacher said, "No, but I like the way you think!"
Little Johnny replied, "Alright, now I have one for you. What goes in dry and hard and comes out soft and hard?" His teacher was shocked and said, "Little Johnny!" He replied, "It's gum! But I like the way you think!"
Girls are like math, if they're under 10, use your fingers.
Whenever you're mad, just punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
An orphan's first word would be "orphan keeper."
Dad: "Son, does mommy like having lady-friends over?"
Son: "Nah, mostly men."
Dad: "Do you think you'd be comfortable telling that to a judge in court?"
My son asked me how I'm so clean, "inside out." I told him because of bleach. The next day, I found him drinking the bleach.
He is looking for children. If you don't know who EDP445 is, look him up.
Be careful around EDP445.
What do you call a sneaky child molester?
Incogpedo.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite drink?
Milk, because his parents never came back with it.
Today a child asked if I was an angel. I asked why, and he said, "Mommy says that angels have marks on their wrists because they don't want to be in this world."
The orphan started crying at school when he got suspended and had to go home.
My girlfriend called me a "pedophile", and I said, "That's a big word for a 5-year-old."
Why was Michael Jackson so loved? He touched so many children in so many special ways.
What did Michael Jackson say to the child sitting on him?
“Just beat it! Just beat it!”
You want to hear a dirty joke? Jonny played in the mud. You want to hear a clean joke? Jonny took a bath with bubbles. You want to hear a dirty joke? Bubbles was the next door neighbor.
So a guy is walking with a young boy into the woods.
The boy turns to the man and says, "Hey mister, it's getting dark out, and I’m scared... Can we go back now?"
So the man says: "How do you think I feel, I have to walk back alone!"
If you're ever angry, go ahead and punch an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
After work, I volunteer to help blind children. Verb, not adjective.
Q: Why can't orphans be gay?
A: They have nobody to call daddy.
