Child jokes
Why can't orphans play soccer? Because they can't practice with their dad.
Mum: Why are roses red?
Child: Stop, Mum, you never make jokes.
Mum: I made you.
You know what you could use? An orphan as a punching bag.
What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Why can't an orphan play baseball? Because they don't know where home is.
What's a little white dot on a priest's dick? A baby tooth.
Can an orphan child be arrested for vandalism, or will the officers ask for their parents to talk to?
What do you call an overly clingy child?
A tumor.
What's an orphan's favorite sport?
Baseball, because that's the only time they can run home.
I once gave birth to 3 children.
Why do orphans have no bruises?
Because they have no dad to beat them.
What goes up but never past the digits 15?
A Make-A-Wish kid...
What do snowmen call snowballs?
Children!
Why can't orphans sleep? Nobody can tuck them in.
What's the difference between a Doberman Pinscher and a Social Worker?
Eventually, you can get a baby back from a Doberman Pinscher.
Me going to jail after telling the orphan he can't learn about ancient Egypt because he don't know what a mummy is.
What part is usually missing in an orphan’s computer system?
Motherboard.
Why don't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
What do you call an orphan?
A bootysnagger45.
One day, Little Johnny walks in on his dad getting dressed and asked, "What is that, Daddy?" Dad said, "Oh, that's my snake." The next day, Little Johnny walks in on his mom getting dressed and asks, "What is that?" Mom says, "That's my bushes." The next day, Little Johnny can't sleep, so he goes into his parents' room and asks Dad, "Why is your snake going into Mom's bushes?"
Three men die at the same time and go to Heaven. St. Peter says to them, "It's going to be a long journey to heaven, so I will give you a good vehicle depending on how much you've cheated on your wives."
"We'll start with you, Michael. Since you were quite the womanizer and cheated on your wife multiple times, you will be getting a Toyota." The man, embarrassed, left in the Toyota.
"Nolan, you were better; you cheated on your wife twice, so I will give you a Mercedes. Now, as for you, Mark, you never cheated on your wife; you are an absolute saint, so I will be giving you a Lamborghini."
The man in the Toyota saw the man with the Lamborghini the next day crying like a child on his car, and he asked the man in the Lamborghini, "What the hell is going on?"
The man in the Lamborghini says, "I just saw my wife riding through the streets of Heaven on roller skates!"