Child jokes
Why do orphans play with Barbies?
So they can have a home :)
Madeline Mcannot find her.
I held on to my money stronger than an orphan holds on to a teddy bear on Father's Day.
Hey, what's your age, Jordan? Probably 5 years old.
And to the parents of the lost boy named Timmy, we have found him, and now is your chance to make your escape. He really is a little shit, isn't he?
Orphan: I finally have a father!
God: And who is that?
Orphan: You!
God: Who the hell is you? Well, it's not me.
Orphan: :l
What spooky creature has children?
Mummies.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
Why can't orphans go to an amusement park?
Because they don't have parents!
Why can’t orphans go on field trips?
They need a parent's signature.
Why does an orphan play soccer?
Because it's the only love they get.
Where do religious kids practice sports?
In the prayground.
Alle Kinder heißen Rune, außer einer: Fisse.
What did the mom say to the baby?
If you're having a bad day, just slap an orphan. Who are they going to tell? Their parents?
What did the drum name its children? Anna 1, Anna 2.
Where can't orphans park?
Parent child.
What's the difference between a child and a cancer diagnosis? At least the cancer grows up and leaves eventually.
My kid runs in today to tell me that he found a floating cow, but when he got me to come and see, all I saw was a piñata with a tail and white spots. Such a stupid child. So after that I gave him a nice refreshing drink from the toilet and a few of those chocolate sprinkles. (: I'm such a good parent...
Mom: ON THE PHONE WITH CHILD- Honey, is Dad late to pick you up again?
Child: No, Mum. Dad is here, but he is talking about me to Mrs. Lili, the math teacher.
Mom: Can you hear them?
Child: I think... they are watching a good movie.
Mom: Why do you think that?
Child: Because I keep hearing this *HOLDS ONTO PHONE* and clap, clap, clap.