Child jokes
Alle Kinder hiessen Melissa, ausser Kurt, han hed det "grime Kurt bombomn".
Alle Kinder heißen Rune, außer einer: Fisse.
What did the mom say to the baby?
Why can’t orphans go on field trips?
They need a parent's signature.
What kind of punch takes out 20 children and 8 adults? A Sandy Hook.
What do you call an orphan in a wheelchair running into fire? Hot Wheels.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't have a home base.
If you're having a bad day, just slap an orphan. Who are they going to tell? Their parents?
Girl: "Daddy!"
Father: "Do I love you?"
Girl: "I'm a... a girl!"
Father: "Mhm!"
Woman: "Daddy?"
Father: "Of course?"
Woman: "I'm a girl too!"
Father: "Does God love children?"
Boy: "Yessss..."
Why do orphans hate baseball?
They don’t know what home base is.
Why can't orphans go on a field trip? Because they don't have a parent's signature.
I held on to my money stronger than an orphan holds on to a teddy bear on Father's Day.
A long-haired child once took a bite of Chuck Norris's brain. He later became known as Albert Einstein.
All the children ate at the Indian restaurant, except for Simon, because he was eaten by the restaurant owner.
My kid runs in today to tell me that he found a floating cow, but when he got me to come and see, all I saw was a piñata with a tail and white spots. Such a stupid child. So after that I gave him a nice refreshing drink from the toilet and a few of those chocolate sprinkles. (: I'm such a good parent...
Mom: ON THE PHONE WITH CHILD- Honey, is Dad late to pick you up again?
Child: No, Mum. Dad is here, but he is talking about me to Mrs. Lili, the math teacher.
Mom: Can you hear them?
Child: I think... they are watching a good movie.
Mom: Why do you think that?
Child: Because I keep hearing this *HOLDS ONTO PHONE* and clap, clap, clap.
Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to gently reprimand the child. Smiling sweetly, the Sunday school teacher said, “Johnny, when I was a little girl, I was told if I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that.”
Little Johnny looked up and replied, “Well, Ms Smith, you can’t say you weren’t warned!”
Tazzaro be like: Why don’t orphans play baseball? Cause they don’t know where home is!
Why don’t orphans play baseball? Cause they don’t know where home is!
Why don’t orphans play baseball? Cause they don’t know where home is!
Why don’t orphans play baseball? Cause they don’t know where home is!
Why don’t orphans play baseball? Cause they don’t know where home is!
Why don’t orphans play baseball? Cause they don’t know where home is!
Why don’t orphans play baseball? Cause they don’t know where home is!
Why can't an orphan play baseball? Because he can't hit a home run.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
How hard can you throw them!