Child jokes
I asked a kid at my work where his parents were. He started crying. Man, I don't know what I did. I'll ask another kid at the orphanage.
What’s an orphan's favorite drink?
Fosters.
What’s a depressed kid’s favorite game? Hangman.
One day I came to my mom and said, "MOM!!! I can make a butterfly!"
Mom: "No you can't..."
Me: *throws butter out the window* Me: "Look I made a butterfly!"
lol this isn't funny but I hope you liked it.
I will never forget my mother and father's last words.
"Where the Sam hell did you get a grenade?"
My favorite quote will always be, "Sketchy candy is better than no candy."
- One of the thousands of missing children.
Child: "Mom, what's an 'orgasm'?"
Mom: "I don't know, dear. Try asking your father."
Why did the family move away?
Because they lost their son.
What school subject does an orphan love?
PE because they actually get picked.
What’s an orphan's favorite movie?
"Home Alone."
Yo people!
Little Johnny's actually dead!
Why is the orphan failing all his classes? He can't do homework.
A woman marries a man and has 7 children. The husband dies, and she marries another man. She has another 7 children, and later the husband dies. A year later she gets married again, and has another 7 children. She dies after a few months.
At the funeral, a man sees the priest looking at the heavens. He walks over and hears the man say, "They're finally together again." The man looks at the priest and says, "With her husband?" The priest looks at the man and says, "No, her legs."
How many orphans does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they don't even got a home.
What does McDonald's and a paedophile have in common?
They both like sticking their meat in ten-year-olds.
(I want to apologize in advance. These are very dark jokes.)
What’s red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
I was going to tell a dead baby joke, but I decided to abort.
Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? His wife is dead.
Why does Helen Keller hate porcupines? They’re painful to look at.
Why can’t orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.
Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes. The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked off with her cardboard box.
My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children. If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
What is the difference between apples and orphans?
The apples get picked.
What's the difference between a trampoline and a dead baby?
I take my boots off before jumping on a trampoline.
What's the difference between me and a rapist?
He forced her, while I convinced her with a candy.
She was just 7 years old.
What movie does an orphan hate?
- No Way Home.