Child jokes

If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

Me sais yes to mom when she seis wha is 1 plus 1 and me is says NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! looooooooooooooooooolllolololololol

Guys stop before I tell my parents!

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

An apple actually gets picked.

An orphan was playing with a famous baseball player. The baseball player walks up to him and says, "Dude, I gotta teach you." The orphan goes, "Why? I got all your moves down." The baseball player goes, "But kid, you can never find home, though."

Q. Why can't orphans play baseball?

A. Because they don't know where home is.

What did the kid with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves!

Just kidding, he hasn’t opened it yet.

If a kid does not go to sleep during nap time, isn't he resisting a rest?

The first child, Daisy, asks her mother why she is named Daisy. The mother said, "That's because a daisy fell on your head when you were born."

The second child, Raindrop, asked why he is named Raindrop, and the mother said, "That's because a drop of rain fell on your head when you were born."

Then the third child, Cinderblock, said, "fxg,kxf dsdsvtg,hjer,btjh,rbtsvikvsdtxde43f."

Yo daddy so poor, when yo mama ask for sum child support money, yo dad don’t have it! 🤣

Mom: Clean your room! Me: No, it’s my room, and I don’t want to clean it. Mom: You are nothing like Mrs. Smith’s daughter. Me: Well, I’m not Mrs. Smith’s daughter now, am I? You are the worst. Why are you trying to compare me with Mrs. Smith’s daughter? I’m not her, OK? I am not her, so stop! Mom: Do you know what? I pushed you out of my hula for 43 minutes! Do not make me hate you, because guess what? I brought you into the world, and I can take you out of it! Me: Bro.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall?

Depends how hard you throw them.

I like my cigars like I like my women:

Seven years old coming from Cuba in a burlap sack.

The reason why women have suffered longer than men is because men are using women and abusing them as tools and property, which they aren’t.

During WWII, women were used every day by evil men for not being able to have sex with their wives, and Muslim women are being raped, women children are being raped every day while you fucking turds of human shit are making jokes of issues that need to stop, so stop with the homophobia, Islamophobia, biphobia and all the other phobias, make sexual harassment, assault and rape victims' voices heard, we will not stay silent because of this shitty app!

Also, God created women equally as men, do not mistreat your sisters, mothers, aunts, mother-in-laws. Hope all you rapists, sexual abusers, sexual assaulters rot in hell where you deserve to be, not in this country or any other place, hell is where you belong. 😡🤬🖕🏻🖕🏼🖕🏽🖕🏾🖕🏿

Why can't an orphan play baseball?

Because it could not find home.

Why can't orphans play baseball?

'Cause they can't go home.

What is an orphan's least favorite store?

Home Depot.

Why is it OK to hit an orphan?

Because they can’t tell their parents.

A pastor asked his child what his favorite bible verse was... He responded, "Keep watch," because he wanted a watch.

How are an emo kid and a hanging child the same?

Depends on who's hanging.