Child jokes
What's the difference between a 14-year-old boy and an 8-year-old boy?
The 14-year-old is on top, the 8-year-old is on the bottom.
I found a child on the street homeless, and they were really nice, so I took them home. Then I said, "Who's better, Biden or Trump?" They said they support Trump. They are now dead in my basement and have been for 3 years.
My friend's dad died during 9/11. He was such a good pilot, but my friend kept disturbing him, so when his dad died, he said, "It was you who killed me" (to the child).
So the child said, "Yoo-hoo? What type of name is Yoo-hoo, but Yoo-hoo, Yoo-hoo come here, I need to kill you NOW."
"When I was a child, my blind mother taught me hand jobs, like carpentry and painting with her legs."
What say the child to the man? Shalom.
Man come later give the child: "Here, what you asked for!"
Child: "No, sir! I say Shabbat Shalom. I not ask for salmon!"
Man: "It may be the coin in me ear, hard to hear."
Kids are cute, not even joking. Wanking is easy around them.
What did the kid with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves!
Just kidding, he hasn’t opened it yet.
If a kid does not go to sleep during nap time, isn't he resisting a rest?
What is yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of children.
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
They can't find home base.
What do you call a kid with no home?
A homeless kid.
My wife is pregnant with a 3-year-old, so I gave her medicine, but now she’s pregnant with a 5-year-old.
What's an orphan's favorite sport?
Baseball, because they finally have a home.
If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Me sais yes to mom when she seis wha is 1 plus 1 and me is says NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! looooooooooooooooooolllolololololol
Guys stop before I tell my parents!
How many babies does it take to cover a brick wall?
Depends on how hard you throw it. 😆😂😁
An orphan was playing with a famous baseball player. The baseball player walks up to him and says, "Dude, I gotta teach you." The orphan goes, "Why? I got all your moves down." The baseball player goes, "But kid, you can never find home, though."
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple actually gets picked.
Q. Why can't orphans play baseball?
A. Because they don't know where home is.