Child jokes

What's the difference between a 14-year-old boy and an 8-year-old boy?

The 14-year-old is on top, the 8-year-old is on the bottom.

I found a child on the street homeless, and they were really nice, so I took them home. Then I said, "Who's better, Biden or Trump?" They said they support Trump. They are now dead in my basement and have been for 3 years.

What say the child to the man? Shalom.

Man come later give the child: "Here, what you asked for!"

Child: "No, sir! I say Shabbat Shalom. I not ask for salmon!"

Man: "It may be the coin in me ear, hard to hear."

My friend's dad died during 9/11. He was such a good pilot, but my friend kept disturbing him, so when his dad died, he said, "It was you who killed me" (to the child).

So the child said, "Yoo-hoo? What type of name is Yoo-hoo, but Yoo-hoo, Yoo-hoo come here, I need to kill you NOW."

What's an orphan's favorite sport?

Baseball, because they finally have a home.

What do you call a kid with no home?

A homeless kid.

How many babies does it take to cover a brick wall?

Depends on how hard you throw it. 😆😂😁

What is yellow and can't swim?

A bus full of children.

My wife is pregnant with a 3-year-old, so I gave her medicine, but now she’s pregnant with a 5-year-old.

Why are orphans bad at baseball?

They can't find home base.

If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

Me sais yes to mom when she seis wha is 1 plus 1 and me is says NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! looooooooooooooooooolllolololololol

Guys stop before I tell my parents!

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

An apple actually gets picked.

An orphan was playing with a famous baseball player. The baseball player walks up to him and says, "Dude, I gotta teach you." The orphan goes, "Why? I got all your moves down." The baseball player goes, "But kid, you can never find home, though."

Q. Why can't orphans play baseball?

A. Because they don't know where home is.

What did the kid with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves!

Just kidding, he hasn’t opened it yet.

If a kid does not go to sleep during nap time, isn't he resisting a rest?

"When I was a child, my blind mother taught me hand jobs, like carpentry and painting with her legs."

The first child, Daisy, asks her mother why she is named Daisy. The mother said, "That's because a daisy fell on your head when you were born."

The second child, Raindrop, asked why he is named Raindrop, and the mother said, "That's because a drop of rain fell on your head when you were born."

Then the third child, Cinderblock, said, "fxg,kxf dsdsvtg,hjer,btjh,rbtsvikvsdtxde43f."