Child jokes
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
I hate adopted kids. They are ugly and stupid, lmao.
So I punched an orphan...
What's he/she going to do? Tell his/her parents???
What were Michael Jackson's last words? "Take me to the children's hospital."
I'm such a good babysitter because the last person I babysat was so flat.
Father: I am taking your toys to the orphanage.
Son: Why?
Father: You’ll need them there.
What's the difference between child abuse and abandonment?
The abused ones are forced to listen while being abused, while abandoned kids cry because they don't have parents anymore.
What does the child with no hands get for Christmas? Unknown. He hasn't opened it yet.
What does a homeless man in New York get for Christmas? Hypothermia.
Huggy Wuggy and Kissy Missy had a baby.
They never gave him a name, so they just played cut the rope with him...
How many children does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw.
I was raised as an only child.
Which really annoyed my twin sister.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't find home.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?... one gets picked.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
We are always joking around about being adopted, when really we are still living in the orphanage.
I once gave birth to 3 children.
One day, a child walks along and asks, "Mother, why am I called Butterfly?"
The mother replies, "A butterfly landed on you as a baby."
A minute later, another child comes along and says, "Mother, why am I called Feather?"
The mother then replied, "Because a feather fell on your head when you were born."
Then Brick comes along and says, "Ahahhsdjsjskxs."
My dad’s nickname for me is ‘Tiger’.
Now, my wrists look like a tiger.
Why do orphans have no bruises?
Because they have no dad to beat them.
What do you call an orphan in a wheelchair running into fire? Hot Wheels.