Child jokes
Speak to your dad before I put my hand up your ass!
Why does an orphan play soccer?
Because it's the only love they get.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
And to the parents of the lost boy named Timmy, we have found him, and now is your chance to make your escape. He really is a little shit, isn't he?
What spooky creature has children?
Mummies.
Memes
Orphan: I finally have a father!
God: And who is that?
Orphan: You!
God: Who the hell is you? Well, it's not me.
Orphan: :l
Why do orphans play baseball because they try to find home?
Why can’t orphans go on field trips?
They need a parent's signature.
Why can't orphans go to an amusement park?
Because they don't have parents!
What did the mom say to the baby?
The adoption center threw a party. Why? 'Cause the parents weren't home.
Why do orphans hate baseball?
They don’t know what home base is.
You look like your mom and your dad had a child.
I was literally cradlesnatched as a child.
Yeah, in the arms of an older woman experiencing my first rounds of motorboating.
Why did the African child wake up suddenly? Because he was being sexually abused.
My kid runs in today to tell me that he found a floating cow, but when he got me to come and see, all I saw was a piñata with a tail and white spots. Such a stupid child. So after that I gave him a nice refreshing drink from the toilet and a few of those chocolate sprinkles. (: I'm such a good parent...
Mom: ON THE PHONE WITH CHILD- Honey, is Dad late to pick you up again?
Child: No, Mum. Dad is here, but he is talking about me to Mrs. Lili, the math teacher.
Mom: Can you hear them?
Child: I think... they are watching a good movie.
Mom: Why do you think that?
Child: Because I keep hearing this *HOLDS ONTO PHONE* and clap, clap, clap.
Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to gently reprimand the child. Smiling sweetly, the Sunday school teacher said, “Johnny, when I was a little girl, I was told if I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that.”
Little Johnny looked up and replied, “Well, Ms Smith, you can’t say you weren’t warned!”
Tazzaro be like: Why don’t orphans play baseball? Cause they don’t know where home is!
Why don’t orphans play baseball? Cause they don’t know where home is!
Why don’t orphans play baseball? Cause they don’t know where home is!
Why don’t orphans play baseball? Cause they don’t know where home is!
Why don’t orphans play baseball? Cause they don’t know where home is!
Why don’t orphans play baseball? Cause they don’t know where home is!
Why don’t orphans play baseball? Cause they don’t know where home is!
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
How hard can you throw them!