Child jokes
"Bill swift here, you make them, we take them!"
What do you do when you see a kid alone? You beat them up and say, "It was self-defense!"
You're walking one day and a little kid, about 5-6 years old, comes up to you asking, "What's a condom?" You have to give that child the wrong answer, what would you tell them? Comment on what you would tell them.
How many kids does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them. 😂😂😂😂
What’s the opposite of an exorcism?
It’s when Satan has to tell the priest to come out of the child.
Cancer kids be like: "When I grow up... lol nevermind."
This joke never gets old. Just like the child.
A kid goes into a restaurant without parents, and a waitress came up and said, "You have to leave; this is a family restaurant."
Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?
A. Ask your mother.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
At least one of them gets picked.
Baby (DYM 108).
Where do orphans go to celebrate graduation?
Their parents.
What does a baby and a grenade have in common?
They both make a noise when you throw them.
Mr. Smith had four daughters. Each of his daughters had a brother. How many children does Mr. Smith have?
Why can’t orphans play baseball? Because they can’t find home.
A little girl being Girl: "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned."
Priest: "What did you do, child?"
Girl: "I called a man a son of a bitch."
Priest: "Why did you call him a son of a bitch?"
Girl: "Because he touched my hand."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he touches her hand)
Girl: "Yes, Father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call a man a son of a bitch."
Girl: "Then he touched my breast."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he touched her breast)
Girl: "Yes, Father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl: "Then he took off my clothes, Father."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he takes off her clothes)
Girl: "Yes, Father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl: "Then he stuck his you know what into my you know where."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he stuck his you know what into her you know where)
Girl: "YES FATHER, YES FATHER, YES FATHER!!!"
Priest: (after a few minutes): "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl: "But, Father, he had AIDS!"
Priest: "THAT SON OF A BITCH!!!"
What's the same about bins and orphans? They get dumped.
We have Build-A-Bear; meanwhile, orphans have Build-A-Mom, or if they’d rather, Build-A-Dad.
Why can’t orphans go on field trips?
Because they need a parent signature.
Pee pee poo poo wall.
Do you know why orphans don't have parents?
Because no one raised you.