How many kids does it take to change a light bulb? Well, it's not 53, 'cause my basement's still dark.
Q. What's the difference between my phone battery and an anti-vax kid?
A. Nothing, they both die at ten.
Why was the orphan walking through the neighborhood? I don't know, either. It's not like he has a home to go to.
Why couldn't the orphan use the swing? Because they had no arms.
What do children and lights have in common? They both hang from ceilings!
Not funny, here’s another.
Why can’t China play baseball? They ate the bat.
I was listening to my children praying, and my youngest that can speak said to me: "Mama, why is Gramma dead?"
I smiled and told her, "Well, less than 10 years ago when I was 5, your age, my Momma took me into the basement with some hot rando during a party. And 9 months later Shinana was born. One Pedo after another and your 4 siblings were born. The Pedo I met last night told me, 'If your mother's the one making you do this, do what you do best.' I listened and the next day she didn't leave her bed breathing. When the Pedo found out he left me and your soon to be brother."
She replies with, "Make his child support expensive!" Now he has to pay me 2,000 U.S. dollars every month, like the other ones that ran away.
What's worse than placing 10 babies in a trash can?
Placing 1 baby in 10 trash cans...
When I was a child, I was made to walk the plank... We couldn't afford a dog.
Adopted kid:
Hey, Alex, what are you doing?
Alex:
Nothing, just playing my game. Anyways, you know you can call me "dad."
Adopted kid:
OK, dad Alex.
Alex:
Oh, come on! My game! I’m winning. Let’s go!
Adopted kid:
I’m so glad I have a mom.
I went up to a kid and asked, "Are you an orphan?" They said, "Yes, what gave me away?" I said, "Your parents."
What do pedophiles do when they wake up?
Turn on the child safety lock on the car.
Q: What’s a good thing about child molesters?
A: They drive slow through school zones.
Why did the child drop their icecream They got hit by a bus
One day, a child walks along and asks, "Mother, why am I called Butterfly?"
The mother replies, "A butterfly landed on you as a baby."
A minute later, another child comes along and says, "Mother, why am I called Feather?"
The mother then replied, "Because a feather fell on your head when you were born."
Then Brick comes along and says, "Ahahhsdjsjskxs."
Orphan boy: "Your dad is probably disappointed in you. I mean, look at you."
Me: "Well, at least my parents kept me. Where are yours?"
How do you get chewing gum out of a child's hair? Cancer.
Why can't orphans go to an amusement park?
Because they don't have parents!
Why did the orphan want to become a prostitute?
To get a daddy.
Dude, ABC, what comes next?
Kid: A big fat noob.
What did the orphan get for Christmas? Nothing, because his parents ran away.
Double whammy. Orphan jokes are like a kid with cancer; it never gets old. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣👌👌👌👌👌
