Child jokes

Michael Jackson is like if a Barbie doll and Bruno Mars had an ugly child together!

I'm jk btw Michael Jackson was amazing!

So, on one partly cloudy night, there was a boy and his dad gazing up at the sky.

Dad: Aren't the stars just wonderful?

Boy: I'm not sure, from my angle, all I see are clouds.

Dad: Well, come over here and take a look.

Boy: Damn, the clouds always move when I get to the right spot!

Dad: Well then, I guess I will have to make you see them everywhere you look then.

Then the Dad shook and spun the boy around till he said...

NOW I'M SEEING STARS!!!

What are the similarities between an orphan and a newborn plant?

Both their parents were separated.

"What did the blind, dumb, paraplegic, dead, eight-year-old child get for their birthday?"

"Cancer."

Why did the orphan go outside the school?

Answer: Because it was take your parents to school day.

What's yellow but can't swim?

A bus full of children.

Q: Why can orphans swim?

A: They have or-fins.

You know what you could use? An orphan as a punching bag.

What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

I got an orphan an iPhone 6. I told him to press the home button. He has been doing it all day.

When I was watching my daughter at the park earlier, another parent asked a man, "Which one is yours?" and he replied, "I'm still choosing." She looked horrified.

Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home.

Why can't orphans play baseball?

Because they can't find home.

So, an orphan walked into a store. He gets lost and the store clerk asked, "Do you need help finding your parent?" and the orphan ran out crying.

DAD: I'm bringing your toys to the orphanage.

SON: Why?

DAD: You're going to need them.

Why do orphans play baseball because they try to find home?

My mum found a chest that was wet, and it had a child in it. She asked me what it was for. I said I put kids in it and chuck it in a river until they are dead.

I found a child on the street homeless, and they were really nice, so I took them home. Then I said, "Who's better, Biden or Trump?" They said they support Trump. They are now dead in my basement and have been for 3 years.

I was having a party in my basement, and my friend asked me what that bag covered in blood was for. I said, "Oh, that's the bag I catch the children with to torture them in this basement."

When you go to the priest's basement, you will always find the pope's body and his children in the corner of the room.

What's the same about boxes and children?

They're both found in basements.