Child jokes
And Mary said God had given her a child, so Joseph went and joined Fathers For Justice.
What starts with M and ends with arriage?
Miscarriage. Now we all know that joke never gets old, and you know what?
Neither does the child.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
And to the parents of the lost boy named Timmy, we have found him, and now is your chance to make your escape. He really is a little shit, isn't he?
Children in the dark make mistakes.
Mistakes in the dark make children.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
Orphan
Child: Mom, someone told me you talk like an owl.
Teacher: Who?
Child: Oh, it is true, you do talk like an owl!
Yo people!
Little Johnny's actually dead!
BRAKING NEWS!
Little Johnny's dead!
This is crazy! Little Johnny died!
What is an orphan's least favorite TV show?
Family Feud.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple actually gets picked.
My 3 year old sister kept saying, "I like your cut, G." Every time she does, I dodge and close my eyes, but she's the one who always ends up running.
What is an animal that kids get for Christmas and can easily give to someone else?
A white elephant.
What's an orphan's favorite toy?
A boomerang because it actually comes back.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because he/she doesn't know where to run home.
Little Johnny died.
Little Johnny catches his parents going at it and says, "Hey dad! Whatcha doin'?"
His father says, "I'm filling your mom's tank."
Johnny says, "Oh yeah, well, you better get a model that gets better mileage because the milk man filled her up this morning."
What's an orphan's favorite sport?
Baseball, because that's the only time they can run home.