My woman is a nine on a bad day, but she’ll be 10 on her birthday
What song did Michael Jackson come up with after his first sleepover with the kid? Just beat it
Have a pregnant lady murders someone does the child get an assist
I just prevented a 10-year-old from getting assaulted Nothing much I just decided to go home
Every depressed person just has to say "I WANT TO JUMP OFF THAT TALL BUILDING RIGHT THERE" and then points to the building and runs up to it like an immature child and then they get disappointed when they aren't allowed into the building
"Dude, can you believe Republicans are opposed to homosexuality, women's rights, and immigration, yet they are silent when it comes to incest and child molestation?"
"Well, I'm not surprised. Republicans have to win the Alabama vote, or else."
What if Game-of-thrones and Harry-Potter -Antagonism had a child? Coldemort!
Kelly Clarkson may be able to shed her weight [through pills], but she will never be able to shed the fact that she admitted herself that she molested her children when they were toddlers.
My friends dad died during the 9/11 he was such a good pilot but my friend kept disturbing him so when hes dad died he said it was you who killed me(to the child).so the the child Sayed yoo-hoo?what type of name is yoo-hoo,but yoo-hoo yoo-hoo come here I need to k1ll you NOW
What is the three worst years of a black child's life First grade
me: brings in missing child police: omg this kid has been missing for 3 months. here is your reward me: oh, cool
NEXT DAY
me: brings in 8 other kids
police :0 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A child and a child molester walk into a forest together. The child turns to the molester and says, "Boy, these woods are scary." The molester says to the child, "You think you're scared? I have to walk out of here alone."
I just encountered a father and son moment over some milk The dad finally came back with the milk
What did the kid without hands get for Christmas? - I don't know, he still didn't open his present...
Michael Jackson and Kelly Clarkson both did shady stuff to children. Michael Jackson said that there is nothing wrong with sharing a bed with unrelated small children. Kelly Clarkson said that there is nothing wrong with physically beating a small child.
The thing is, though, only one of them made "Billie Jean" or "Beat It", and the other is just a typical karaoke country singer. So no surprise people gave Wacko Jacko a pass.
My parents raised me as an only child, which infuriated my sister.
How do parents punish a blind kid? They rearrange the furniture.
Why did the baby cross the road? The car seat wasn’t strapped in.
WHATS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN CHILD ABUSE AND ABANDONMENT?
THE ABUSED ONES ARE FORCED TO LISTEN WHILE BEING ABUSED WHILE ABANDONED KIDS CRY BECAUSE THEY DON'T HAVE PARENTS ANYMORE
The boss wondered why one of his most valued employees was absent, but had not phoned in.
Needing to have an urgent work problem resolved, he dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted by a child's whisper, "Hello."
"Is your Mummy home?" he asked.
"Yes," whispered the small voice.
"May I talk with her?"
The child whispered, "No."
Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your Daddy there?"
"Yes."
"May I talk with him?"
Again the small voice whispered, "No."
Hoping there was someone with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked, "Is anyone else there?"
"Yes," whispered the child, "a policeman."
Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, "May I speak with the policeman?"
"No, he's busy," whispered the child.
"Busy doing what?"
"Talking to the ambulancemen and the Fireman," came the whispered answer.
Growing more worried as he heard a loud noise through the earpiece on the phone, the boss asked, "What is that noise?"
"A helicopter," answered the whispering voice.
"What is going on there?" demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive.
Again, whispering, the child answered, "The search team just landed a helicopter."
Alarmed, confused, and a little frustrated, the boss asked, "What are they searching for?”
Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle..."Me!"
