Yoo! I found a $100 bill, found a child who said they lost their $100 bill. Gave them $25.
When God gives you glory, you give it back.
A priest says to me, "Come up, my child." Then I said, "Do I know you? Because you're not my father."
What do you call a virgin kid locked in a room with a pedophile? Past tense.
What did the drum name its children? Anna 1, Anna 2.
Yesterday, I was babysitting this woman's child. Everything was going perfectly.
I got hungry and called the mother. I asked if she wanted the baby back ribs I was cooking, but she said she didn't want any.
When she arrived she started screaming and ran to her child. I don't see why she was so upset, she said she didn't want any.
I keep getting these letters from this little girl every year on Father's Day. I told the orphanage to stop letting her send these.
For a present on Christmas, I gave an orphan a phone, just without a home button.
Random person: "What's one thing your ex gave you that you can't get rid of?"
Man: *Shows a picture of his child.*
Why doesn’t Joe Biden visit children with cancer in hospitals?
Because he can’t sniff their hair.
How is a child molester and Harambe the same? They both get shot for touching little kids.
Did you know penguins can actually fly if thrown hard enough... Just like children.
What’s and orphans favorite beer? Fosters
I once told an orphan to go big or go home. He replied, "I can't get home; it got bombed."
I always use chloroform when stealing a child.
What's the difference between me and a rapist?
He forced her, while I convinced her with a candy.
She was just 7 years old.
If a lion ate a child, is the lion a child predator?
Mom asks, "Why are you are THIS show??? It's DISTRACTING you from SCHOOL!!!!!"
The child says, "Don't you mean SCHOOL is distracting ME from this AWESOME show?"
Mom whispers, "Oh, you DEAD."
Mom asks, "Who are you talking to?"
The child said, "A mistake."
What has 30 legs but can't swim?
A bus full of children!
Q) Why is Technoblade's body hard?
A) Cuz he was thinking of children on his deathbed!
