Johnny had 55 pineapples. He threw three at his friend. How many does he have now?
None, because he was pistol whipped then shot at point blank range with a sawed off shotgun covered in fluoroantimonic acid which burned a hole in his skull causing his brain to melt and rupture nerve cells all over his friends. Then his arms and legs were stuffed into a wheat thresher which was used to harvest the meat of the enslaved children. Then his corpse was molested.
How would Steven Hawking's mom punish him as a kid?
Power off his chair.
What do you give a armless kid for Christmas?
Nothing because they can't open the gift.
What's yellow all over and can't swim?
A school bus full of children.
Statistically, 1 in 10 people live next door to a pedophile. But not me, I live next to a 10-year-old boy with a fat ass.
What did Sally get for her birthday? A football!
Only joking; she hasn't opened the box yet.
What did the orphan get for Christmas?
Lego figures from his friend, but they ran away too.
If you ever get bored, just punch an orphan in the face. What's he going to do? Tell his parents?
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed? Tell him to clap until his parents come home.
Craig Duncan is a child soldier with bad breath and has killed 5 people (on Fortnite).
What did the mom say to the baby?
What do you call a baby in the crib?
Boys and girls watch Monsters, Inc.
I will always remember my baby sister's last words: "What is the fire for?"
What are the differences between a preschool and a pedophile's basement? Little kids leave preschool.
Can an orphan go to a family restaurant?
Why did the boy get run over?
Sally was driving.
April Fool's joke: Go to an orphanage and tell them, "Their parents came back."
How many times can 50 fit into 9?
Get in a van and find out.
Puerto Rican teen: I'm a waste, a failure, NUNCA LO PODRA ASER (I'll never be able to do it).
The mother: AI NINO (OH CHILD).
The teen: QUE? (WHAT?)
The mother: NO TE PONGA CON ESTA MIELDA OTRAVES! (DON'T START WITH THIS SHIT AGAIN!)
The teen: I CAN'T DO SHIT RIGHT MAMA!
The mother: OOOHHH YEAH WELL TU SI PUEDES ABLAR MIELDA DE TI, I BOTAR BASURA! (YOU SURE CAN TALK CRAP ABOUT YOURSELF AND THROW OUT THE TRASH.)
The teen: QUAL (WHICH).
The mother: MADRE DE DIOS (MOTHER OF GOD).
The teen: AVIA UNA NEGRA I OTRA BLANKA (THERE WAS A BLACK ONE AND WHITE ONE).
*A phone buzzes.*
The teen: Whose phone is that, ma?
Unknown: MR. PRESIDENT IF YOU TAKE AWAY THE CONFEDERATE FLAG HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW WHO THE BAD WHITE PEOPLE ARE?
*Runs to bag, opens white one and sticks hand in.*
The teen: HAIR GEL
A kid asks for an ice cream. The man says, "Any sauce?" and the kid says, "Na, I got ketchup at home."
