Child jokes

An orphan walks into a supermarket, gets lost and calls for his mum, then remembers.

A child with cancer says, "Mother, what will I be when I grow up?"

Then the mother says, "Shut up, dick, you have cancer!" Hehehe.

What's breakdancing, twitching, and noisy?

A child with epilepsy.

Why was Sally at the hospital after her parents left? Because they put her up for adoption.

How many babies does it take to replace a light bulb? I'm guessing more than 10 cause it's still dark in my basement.

If a kid refused to go to bed, does that make them guilty of resisting a rest?

Walk up to an adopted kid and ask this, "How's your biological parents? Are they well?"

A pedo is driving down a highway really slowly and gets stopped by the police. The officer asks why he was driving so slowly. The man answers, "I don't wake up the kids."

What problems might a blind child run into?

A wall.

What did the orphan say to his father?

Nothing, he doesn't have one.

What do you call a baby kangaroo? Joey.

What do you call a 6 year old named Joey? Supper.

What was Stephen Hawking's favorite toy as a child?

Hot Wheels.

What do you call a deaf child?

-Ryan Simmonite-

My sister and I were both adopted from the same country, and my parents say they got us on a "two for one special."

When someone calls you, say this: "Hi, welcome to Dave’s Orphanage. You make them, we take them. How may I help you?"

A 23 year old priest walks into a high school with an automatic weapon. He tells those who believe in God to stand up and leave.

To the children who don't leave, he says, "Do not worry my children, I shall make thou 'hole-y' as well."

He then proceeds to shoot all of the students left.

What’s the difference between a bleeding child and a bleeding chimpanzee?

They're both crazy and now dead.

Mom, can I please go out and play?

... no answer.

Why can't orphans go on school field trips?

Parent Signature: _______

How come when women decide to kill their unborn baby it's a "choice"? But when I decide to drive my car into a playground full of children it's called "murder."