Child

Child jokes

What's the difference between a penis and a gun?

A child doesn't cry when a gun goes off in its mouth.

  • 2

    • How do you keep your friends from boring you with pictures of their children?

    Every time they show you a new one, you say, "Oh FUCK yeah!"

    A child has diarrhea and asked his mom for a Viagra. "Why in the world do you want that?" she asked him. He looks at her and says, "Well, that's what you gift dad when his shit won't get hard."

  • 7

    • "One silent evening, a man walks to his fridge to get some food. He sets out a fork and napkin on the table. He reaches to grab a salad topped with olives and cheese. He sets the food down on the table and begins to add tomatoes, condiments, and..." He is interrupted. "Why are you saying this aloud?" A young boy asks his father. The father replies with, "You wanted to know how to live on your own, but I guess experience is more helpful," he says as he rushes the child out of the front door.

    A father and son duo are sitting at a table, eating breakfast. The father looks at the child and says, "I'm hungry." The child looks at the father and replies, "Hi Hungry, I'm Son." The father calls his father and asks why he was named Hungry.

    Q. There were two sisters. One was having twins and asked her sister to help name the children. If one was named Deniece, what was the other named?

    A. Denephew.

    Q: What's the difference between me and a priest? A: A priest isn't turned on by dead children.

  • 4

    • When a Muslim dies, he gets 72 virgins.

    It's the same thing with priests, except the virgins are children.

  • 2

    • What is the difference between a small child and a watermelon?

    One I eat on the daily and the other is a watermelon.