Child jokes
Q: What's the difference between me and a priest? A: A priest isn't turned on by dead children.
When a Muslim dies, he gets 72 virgins.
It's the same thing with priests, except the virgins are children.
What is the difference between a small child and a watermelon?
One I eat on the daily and the other is a watermelon.
Why can't orphans watch PG movies? Because they are parental guidance.
Your birth certificate is like an apology from the condom factory...
What has a kid with cancer and Peter Pan in common?
They will never grow up.
If a kid does not go to sleep during nap time, isn't he resisting a rest?
Why do pedophiles go to a nursery?
Early access.
What is small, red, and sitting in the corner?
A baby playing with a scalpel.
What did the daddy bullet say to his son when he missed the bull and hit something brown and gross?
"That is bull crap!"
Well, I'm off to the orphanage to tell "yo mama" jokes.
A child asks his father, "How do you get pink eye?"
Son, I was told it’s from scratching your butt, then rubbing your eyes.
Then the son asks, "How did I get Fungi?" As the father was about to answer, the boy says, "Ohh, so is it from scratching my stinky feet, then rubbing my eye?" ———-Fungeye
A little girl and a little boy are taking a bath together when the little girl looks down and asks, "What's that?"
The little boy says, "That’s my little red race car."
Ten minutes later, the boy looks down and asks, "What's that?"
The little girl says, "That’s my little red race car garage."
So later that night, the little boy asks the little girl if he can put his little red race car in her little red race car garage. She said yes, and then they pull down their pants and the boy tries putting his little red race car in her garage, but it won’t fit.
Downstairs, the mother hears an ear-piercing scream and runs up the stairs, flips on the lights and sees blood on the floor. The mother asks, "What happened?"
The little girl says, "We tried putting his car in my garage and it wouldn’t fit, so I cut the back wheels off."
An orphan walks into a supermarket, gets lost and calls for his mum, then remembers.
A child with cancer says, "Mother, what will I be when I grow up?"
Then the mother says, "Shut up, dick, you have cancer!" Hehehe.
What's breakdancing, twitching, and noisy?
A child with epilepsy.
Why was Sally at the hospital after her parents left? Because they put her up for adoption.
How many babies does it take to replace a light bulb? I'm guessing more than 10 cause it's still dark in my basement.
If a kid refused to go to bed, does that make them guilty of resisting a rest?
Walk up to an adopted kid and ask this, "How's your biological parents? Are they well?"