Child jokes
A man is sitting on a bench at a playground where children are playing. A man named Chris comes up and asks, “Which one is yours?” The man said, “I don’t know, I’m still deciding.”
Why did the orphan cross the ride?
I forgot.
Hi, welcome to Dave's Orphanage. You make them, we take them. How may I help you?
What's the difference between a Doberman Pinscher and a Social Worker?
Eventually, you can get a baby back from a Doberman Pinscher.
If you're ever bored, just beat up an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Why can’t orphanage kids play baseball?
Cause they don’t know where home is.
When you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
What's the difference between a bus full of children and a fish?
The fish can swim.
What do you do when you see a sad orphan?
Nothing, let them wait for their parents.
Why was Timmy sad? Because his dad stapled a frog to his forehead.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how many you throw.
When your wife gets pregnant and you don't want a kid, just come on down to Momma Mia's Pizzeria and abortion clinic!
"Mommy, mommy, where's my school dress... ewww!"
"Shut up and leave the bedroom."
Doctor: What makes you feel depressed?
Me: Seeing others happy.
Doctor: Ok, so what makes you happy?
Me: Seeing stupid people in misery or agony.
Doctor: Well, that's rather sadistic.
Me: Well, statistically one in two doctors have fingered a child...
Doctor: Do you want your prescription or shall I book you an endoscopy?
Me: There's nothing hidden inside me, I'm empty "smug face".
Where do Eagles send their children to study?
The Alpha birds.
Aunt: Stop telling the kids Santa isn't real.
Me: Stop telling them their dad is going to get milk.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping bag?
One's made of plastic and is dangerous for children to play with, the other one carries your shopping.
A dark joke is like a kid with cancer. It never gets old.
I AM SO SORRY!
Jack and Jill went up the hill to go and have some fun.
Silly Jill forgot the pill, and now they have a son.
Why does an orphan play soccer?
Because it's the only love they get.