What do you call a kid watching Star Wars by themselves?
Hans Solo.
Child Jokes
I made a website for orphans. Unfortunately, it doesn't have a homepage.
What do an abortion and a baby have in common?
The mom doesn't want either of them.
A mother and her 7 year old child are walking in the grocery store. The young boy then screams to a random woman “you're an ugly bitch.”
The mother grabs her son and says, “I’m so sorry, I must have told him a thousand of times to not judge people on how they look."
So, Satan is in the delivery room having a child.
Soon, a feathered creature comes out. "Doctor," says Satan, "What is it?"
The doctor sighs. "Well, it's not a boy, and it's not a girl."
Satan looks frustrated. "THEN WHAT IS IT?!?!?"
The doctor looks up. "It's a goose."
What's hot and hard?
Me when I look at children.
What has 2 legs, 2 arms, and an abusive father?
Aaron.
Once, there was a Minecraft child molester on the Minecraft Facebook. He asks a kid his age. The kid blocks him.
If it's on the clock, it's old enough for the cock.
Why does a chicken cross the road?
To poop and pee in the potty!
Why did Aaron's dad beat him? Because he tensed his ass.
Why does Aaron cry at night? His alcoholic father beats him.
What is a pedophile's favorite dating site?
Kinder
What does milk and a kid with cancer have in common?
An expiration date.
What do Chinese parents hate the most?
A newborn daughter...
A priest and a rabbi run out of a burning church, and the priest says, "What about the children?" The rabbi says, "Fuck the children." And the priest says, "Do you think we'll have time?"
How many beaten children does it take to change a light bulb for a drunken father?
Apparently not enough to impress him.
Alle Kinder heißen Rune, außer einer: Fisse.
Alle Kinder heißen Rune, außer einer Pussy.
Alle Kinder hiessen Melissa, ausser Kurt, han hed det "grime Kurt bombomn".
