Child jokes

"It never gets old."

"Just like a sick kid!"

What do you call an overly clingy child?

A tumor.

Dear Gwen,

Gwen, when I said sorry, I meant that as a sarcastic "why" and point of view!

TBH, you make me sick as a dog! Also, you're so annoying; stop holding that anger in. BTW, I AM A SPECIAL CHILD!

BTW, I am 6 years old BTW!

Please comment good or not! Irdc!

What did the girls on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

"Could you move? Your sun is in my son."

If you’re ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

I threw a paralyzed kid into the fireplace and called him hotwheels.

How to get quick cash:

Step 1: Kill a child's parents.

Step 2: Do foster care for them.

Step 3: Get paid for doing foster care.

Have you seen the Woody Allen v Mia Farrow series on HBO? If you like details about child molestation without having to do it yourself, boy do I have the show for you!

Alex: Dad, can we get me a little brother from the orphanage?

Dad: Sure, Alex! We're here!

Orphanage manager: Alex! You are so big now!

Alex: Dad, what is she talking about?!

What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple?

An apple gets picked.

What do you call an orphan family tree?

A tree stump.

Orphan: I finally have a father!

God: And who is that?

Orphan: You!

God: Who the hell is you? Well, it's not me.

Orphan: :l

I spit on an orphan. What is he going to do? Tell his parents?

Why are orphans bad at baseball? They can never find home.

So my dad walks into a bar and there was a hooker and a child. I was with him and they both approached us and they said only £50 for head but it was a little weird that the child was talking to my dad and the hooker was talking to me. I was about to say something but my dad pushed me over and my friend's uncle killed my dad.

The kid was never seen again. Her name was Madeleine McCann. I think I'm the only one who knows where she is, but overall the head from the hooker was good.

What flavor do you buy an orphan?

Self raising.

What is the difference between Michael Jackson and my uncle? Nothing, they both steal children.

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

Apples get picked.

Why can’t an orphan play soccer?

If he can’t find home, he can’t find goal.

What's better than seeing a baby swing around on a clothesline at 60km/h? Stopping it with a cricket bat.

And Mary said God had given her a child, so Joseph went and joined Fathers For Justice.