Child jokes
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and acne? Acne doesn't come on a 5-year-old's face.
I will never forget my mother and father's last words.
"Where the Sam hell did you get a grenade?"
What's an orphan's favorite toy?
A boomerang, because it came back unlike their parents.
If you punch an orphan, they can't do anything; they can't tell their parents.
What's the difference between kids and drugs? I don't sell drugs.
What if little Johnny was doing drugs?
"Johnny, Johnny?"
"Yes, Papa?"
"Eating sugar?"
"No, Papa..."
Old woman: You are such a darling child. Please come and see me again next year.
A year later, as child walks up to the door of the old lady's house...
Old woman: Oh my! Goodness sakes, child! Have you grown, or have I shrank???
Child: Both.
Orphans are human too! They have parents like all of us, so I don't know why they're saying it's fun to make fun of an orphan. Have you ever been too cold and wondered if your parents are going to have another child and not you? That's not funny! It is %9000,000 NO!!!!!!!!!!
I hate child murderers, they're always so high-pitched.
"Peado van, peado van, stay away, peado van, peado van, take her away."
I can't afford food, I can't afford childcare, might as well just get the money out of her.
What spooky creature has children?
Mummies.
After work, I volunteer to help blind children. Verb, not adjective.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t find their way home.
OK, so Kenya and Kariah are both orphans that hate orphan jokes, so how about we make a joke out of them!
Driving through the woods today, I saw a boy with a bare behind.
I was watching my son play at the park, and a lady asked me, "Which one is yours?" And for fun, I said, "I don't know, I'm still choosing."
What TV shows do orphans not like?
"Family Guy."
A father awaits the birth of his first child.
The obstetrician says, "Unfortunately, he has no arms."
The father says, "I'll love it all the same."
But the obstetrician adds, "It is also without legs, trunk, head."
The father says, "I'll love it all the same."
Then the obstetrician confessed to him, "I'm sorry, but only this ear was born."
The father says, "I'll love it all the same."
And the obstetrician says, "Talk to him closer: he's deaf!"
Dad and Mom: -takes one look at Child-
Dad and Mom: "We don't want him."
Orphan: And I took that, personally.
Mom, mom, I'm holding my little brother's hand..... Little Johnny, good! But he's not born yet.