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Child jokes

I bet when your mom first saw you, she said, "Oh my god, this ain't my child. My child would look amazing."

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and acne? Acne doesn't come on a 5-year-old's face.

I will never forget my mother and father's last words.

"Where the Sam hell did you get a grenade?"

What's an orphan's favorite toy?

A boomerang, because it came back unlike their parents.

Old woman: You are such a darling child. Please come and see me again next year.

A year later, as child walks up to the door of the old lady's house...

Old woman: Oh my! Goodness sakes, child! Have you grown, or have I shrank???

Child: Both.

Orphans are human too! They have parents like all of us, so I don't know why they're saying it's fun to make fun of an orphan. Have you ever been too cold and wondered if your parents are going to have another child and not you? That's not funny! It is %9000,000 NO!!!!!!!!!!

"Peado van, peado van, stay away, peado van, peado van, take her away."

I can't afford food, I can't afford childcare, might as well just get the money out of her.

Why can’t orphans play baseball?

Because they can’t find their way home.

OK, so Kenya and Kariah are both orphans that hate orphan jokes, so how about we make a joke out of them!

I was watching my son play at the park, and a lady asked me, "Which one is yours?" And for fun, I said, "I don't know, I'm still choosing."

A father awaits the birth of his first child.

The obstetrician says, "Unfortunately, he has no arms."

The father says, "I'll love it all the same."

But the obstetrician adds, "It is also without legs, trunk, head."

The father says, "I'll love it all the same."

Then the obstetrician confessed to him, "I'm sorry, but only this ear was born."

The father says, "I'll love it all the same."

And the obstetrician says, "Talk to him closer: he's deaf!"