Chicken jokes
What is the difference between a cow and a chicken?
It's white and it's brown.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the gay guy's house. Knock, knock. Who's there? Chicken.
This dude is so fat, wearing the same damn clothes every day. Every time he turns around, it's his graduation day. He forgot to put a boomerang on his pants because they don't even fit anymore. Last time I saw him coming down the street, it was in a bucket of Popeye's chicken, extra crispy.
Why was the chicken screaming?
He had an egg stuck in his butt.
Why did the Emo Chicken cross the road?
To get hit by a car.
Man: How do you prepare your chicken?
Waiter: Nothing special, we just tell them they’re going to die.
What do you call a chicken staring at a pile of lettuce?
A chicken sees a salad.
(Say it out loud if you don't get it!)
Why would the chicken not cross the road?
Because it's too old. (The joke is old.) (The chicken is old.)
Knock, knock. Who's there? Susan. Susan who? Season your chicken, it's too plain!
I’ve just discovered that cock fighting is done with chickens.
12 months of training completely wasted.
Your hairline is so bad, it's not even McDonald's, it's Dixy Chicken!
Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, he can't tell me.
What did the chicken say when he saw a human running around uncontrollably?
"It's running around like a chicken with its head cut off!"
If I had 10 dino nuggies and Jamal tried to take one, I would have ten dino nuggies and Jamal's head.
A kindergarten teacher was telling a story...
A kindergarten teacher was telling a story about a farmer walking around the farm talking to the animals. She was trying to get the kids to interact, speak up, and to use their imaginations.
"Mister Farmer stopped at the cow, and the cow said 'Morning, Mister Farmer!'. Susie, what do you thing the farmer said next?"
Susie says "He said 'Good morning Mrs. Cow!'"
"Mister Farmer stopped at the pig next, and the pig said 'Good morning, Mister Farmer!'. Johnny, what do you thing the farmer said next?"
Johnny says "He said 'Good morning Mr. Pig!'"
"Mister Farmer stopped at the chicken, and the Chicken said 'Morning, Mister Farmer!'. Billy, what do you thing the farmer said next?"
Billy says "The farmer said 'Holy shit, that chicken is fucking talking!'"
What do women and KFC have in common?
After you get done with the thighs and breasts, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.
My bro said food was cool. So I threw a piece of cool chicken at him. For some reason, he hit me, OOF.
What’s the difference between erotic and kinky?
Erotic is usually a feather. Kinky is using the whole chicken.
Why did the Chicken cross the road? You: Why? To get to the little b***h's house!
Knock knock! You: Who's there? The chicken!
Person: Guess what?
Other person: What?
Person: Chicken butt!