What do you call a chicken that catches ghosts? A poultrygeist.
Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
He got hit!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because she wanted to have an affair with the rooster.
Three sons left home, went out into the world, and each of them made a lot of money. During a reunion, they discussed the gifts they'd given to their elderly mum.
"I built a big house for our mum," said the first.
"I sent her a Mercedes, with a chauffeur," said the second.
And the third smiled and said, "I think my gift was the best. You know how much mum enjoyed reading the Bible? And you know that her eyes aren't so good anymore? Well, I sent her a remarkable cockatoo that recites the entire Bible, both old and new testaments. It took a priest twelve years to teach him. That cockatoo is the only one in the world that can do it. All mum has to do is name the chapter and verse, and the cockatoo recites it."
A few days later, mum sent out her thankyou letters. She wrote to the first son,
"The house you built is so enormous that I only live in one room. The trouble is, I have to clean the whole house."
To the second son she said, "I'm far too old to travel anymore. I stay at home most of the time, so I've hardly used the Mercedes. In any case, the driver is so rude."
To the third son she wrote "Dearest Freddie. You have the good sense to know what your mum likes. The chicken was delicious!"
I just ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon.
I'll let you know.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Who gives a shit? I wanna know how it got the car started!
What does a woman and Kentucky Fried Chicken have in common?
By the time you're done with the breasts and the thighs, all you have left is the greasy box to put your bone in.
Why did the chicken cross the towers?
Because he ordered a plane pizza and didn’t get to the other side.
Chuck Norris knows why the chicken crossed the road.
Why was the chicken screaming?
He had an egg stuck in his butt.
In the cute fantasies: "Est-ce que tu manges du poulet? Attendez une seconde, VOTRE PROFESSEUR VEGAN!!!!!"
In reality: "Are you eating chicken? Wait a second, YOUR THE VEGAN TEACHER!!!"
Why did the chicken say to the football guy, "You quarter?"
Why did the gum cross the road?
It was stuck to the chicken’s foot.
I told my friend that there was a tree. On that tree, there were four black chickens. I asked how many beaks do the chickens have. He said four.
Then I said there was a white cat. How many teeth does it have? He couldn't answer, so I said, "Looks like you know more about black cocks than white pussy."
What do you call a funny chicken?
A comedi-hen!
I fed some chickens some eggs. They ate them. Nothing else to explain except they are cannibals.
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a horse?
An animal abuse warrant.
I had to give up my vegetarian diet.
Turns out they're a lot harder to catch than cows.
On which side does the chicken have the most feathers?
On the outer side. 😂😂
Person 1: "I love KFC."
Person 2: "Yeah, me too!"
Person 1: "How many have you gotten?"
Person 2: "How am I supposed to remember how many buckets of chicken I have ordered!?"
Person 1: "Chicken? What chicken? What do you think KFC stands for?"
Person 2: "Kentucky Fried Chicken?"
Person 1: "What? I thought it meant kidnapping foster children."
Person 2: "BLOODY WHATT??"
