Chicken Jokes

One day, inexplicably, my talking parrot started insulting me. He called me an idiot, a fool, a jerk, stupid, and a variety of other nasty names. I warned the squawker to cease, but to no avian avail. Fed up, I finally flipped the foul-mouthed feather-brain into the freezer...but after about 15 seconds, I relented and let him out.

"I'm so sorry," he declared! "I don't know what came over me, and realize I shouldn't have said those terrible things. I hope you can forgive me, and I promise never to do it again! By the way...what did the chicken do?" 🐔😂

I just ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon.

I'll let you know.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who gives a shit? I wanna know how it got the car started!

What does a woman and Kentucky Fried Chicken have in common?

By the time you're done with the breasts and the thighs, all you have left is the greasy box to put your bone in.

Why did the chicken cross the towers?

Because he ordered a plane pizza and didn’t get to the other side.

What I do on most afternoons.

The image shows three logos side by side. On the left is the board game Clue, in the center is the fast food restaurant Clucks Nashville Hot Chicken, and on the right is the character Barbarian from the mobile game Clash of Clans.

In the cute fantasies: "Est-ce que tu manges du poulet? Attendez une seconde, VOTRE PROFESSEUR VEGAN!!!!!"

In reality: "Are you eating chicken? Wait a second, YOUR THE VEGAN TEACHER!!!"

Why did the gum cross the road?

It was stuck to the chicken’s foot.

Why did the chicken say to the football guy, "You quarter?"

Why was the chicken screaming?

He had an egg stuck in his butt.

Chuck Norris knows why the chicken crossed the road.

I told my friend that there was a tree. On that tree, there were four black chickens. I asked how many beaks do the chickens have. He said four.

Then I said there was a white cat. How many teeth does it have? He couldn't answer, so I said, "Looks like you know more about black cocks than white pussy."

What do you get when you cross a chicken and a horse?

An animal abuse warrant.

I had to give up my vegetarian diet.

Turns out they're a lot harder to catch than cows.

I fed some chickens some eggs. They ate them. Nothing else to explain except they are cannibals.

On which side does the chicken have the most feathers?

On the outer side. 😂😂

What do you call a funny chicken?

A comedi-hen!

Person 1: "I love KFC."

Person 2: "Yeah, me too!"

Person 1: "How many have you gotten?"

Person 2: "How am I supposed to remember how many buckets of chicken I have ordered!?"

Person 1: "Chicken? What chicken? What do you think KFC stands for?"

Person 2: "Kentucky Fried Chicken?"

Person 1: "What? I thought it meant kidnapping foster children."

Person 2: "BLOODY WHATT??"

What do you call a chicken with no legs? Ground chicken 🤣💀🐔 Get WRAY'DDDDD!

Why did the chicken cross the road?

The chicken was in 666 pieces after being molested by Gerard brutally with a rail gun covered in spears covered in his lymph. His beak was ripped open and shoved in his feet after glass shards were shoved into his eyes until they came out the other side. His feet were nailed to the ground.