Chicken jokes
In the cute fantasies: "Est-ce que tu manges du poulet? Attendez une seconde, VOTRE PROFESSEUR VEGAN!!!!!"
In reality: "Are you eating chicken? Wait a second, YOUR THE VEGAN TEACHER!!!"
Why was the chicken screaming?
He had an egg stuck in his butt.
Why did the chicken say to the football guy, "You quarter?"
Why did the gum cross the road?
It was stuck to the chicken’s foot.
I told my friend that there was a tree. On that tree, there were four black chickens. I asked how many beaks do the chickens have. He said four.
Then I said there was a white cat. How many teeth does it have? He couldn't answer, so I said, "Looks like you know more about black cocks than white pussy."
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a horse?
An animal abuse warrant.
What do you call a funny chicken?
A comedi-hen!
Your hairline is lookin' so crusty like KFC chicken and be so discombobulated that it looks like satellite signals. It gives me flippin' sun radiation.
I fed some chickens some eggs. They ate them. Nothing else to explain except they are cannibals.
I had to give up my vegetarian diet.
Turns out they're a lot harder to catch than cows.
On which side does the chicken have the most feathers?
On the outer side. 😂😂
What do you call a chicken with no legs? Ground chicken 🤣💀🐔 Get WRAY'DDDDD!
A black dude shows up to a job interview for a watermelon farmhand gig, resume full of fried chicken joint experience. The boss asks, "Why should I hire you?" He stutters, "Uh, I got skills in... uh..." Before he can finish, a hulk-like, veiny, muscular, giant transgender man storms in, straps him to the interview desk with velvet cuffs, drips hot wax on his back from a candle shaped like a massive dick, and rams his ass relentlessly while whispering, "Welcome to the team, bitch. Your probation starts now."
Why is there no toilet paper at KFC?
Because it's finger-licking good.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
The chicken was in 666 pieces after being molested by Gerard brutally with a rail gun covered in spears covered in his lymph. His beak was ripped open and shoved in his feet after glass shards were shoved into his eyes until they came out the other side. His feet were nailed to the ground.
Eggs
You crack me up!
Why wasn’t the duck afraid to cross the road? Because he wasn’t chicken!
Dad, I'm hungry.
Hi, hungry, I'm Dad! 👋🍪🍩🍬🌮🍔🍗🍟🍤🍉🍭🍫🍰
Why did the chicken cross the road?
It didn't.
A chef named his chicken Richard and named a rooster Ballz. A guy walks up and asks the chef what he's cooking. He replies, "My dick and balls."