A conman, a mentally handicapped person, and a Russian spy walk into a bar.
And the bartender asks, "What will it be, Mr. President?"
[God creating a jellyfish]
God: How about an evil bag?
Sans Undertale.
Why is Peter Pan always flying?
Because he Neverlands!
What do you call Tarzan when he swings through the trees backwards?
Nazrat.
What is Thanos's favorite video game?
Pokémon Snap.
Me: What’s that girl’s name from Phineas and Ferb, the sister?
Crush: Candice.
Me: Candice dick fit in your mouth?
Crush: *slaps me, walks away*
Why is Peter Pan always flying?
Because he Neverlands. (This joke is good because it never gets old.)
Trump is so orange that he makes the Oompa Loompas look white.
Six out of seven dwarfs aren’t Happy.
The Stigg is a joke.
How many fingers does the Dragonborn have?
Four fingers and a Thu'um.
Every time a Light Saber goes off, it's just a Jedi Master getting hard over a kid. Lol.
Your mama is so ugly! Ghostface from Scream won't even make that call!
Why did Pinocchio cross the road?
To get to the other lied.
What's the difference between Clark Kent and chicken noodle?
One is Super. The other is just soup.
James Bond: Vodka martini.
Bartender: Shaken, not stirred.
James Bond: Do I look like I give a damn?
Your hairline is pushed back farther than G.T.A. 6.
I'm so confused. Who is Gwen? The only Gwen I can think of is the one from Spiderman. 😂
Edward Scissorhands: Why is it that every time I touch someone, they get offended?
Kids: Because you're a psycho path.
