I was walking down the street when I saw this dude just viben, he was telling ever guy that walked by if his dick was bigger then theirs they have to give him 50 bucks long story short I walked away with 100 bucks that day
What you call suicide, I call failed speedrun attempt
my girlfriend wanted a marriage just like a fairy tale. fair enough. i gave her a loaf of bread and left her in the forest, telling her we can get married once she makes her way out.
why was my mate in mission impossible because he couldn't find his dad
What is the difference between a 100 dead babies and a mustang challenger? i dont have a mustang challenger in my garage
I was struggling on a math test when a girl in a wheelchair leaned over and said, "Hey, this is the easiest thing I've done all day. " I was triggered, so the next day when we were doing the pledge, I leaned over and said, "This is the easiest thing I've done all day."
The 5 year old with cancer is going through a mid-life crisis
I always sucked at mazes. I found myself lost over and over again but if life is a labyrinth, I'd always find the escape. The final dead end, my personal favourite...
*WARNING* THIS WILL NEVER GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD - READ IF YOU DARE.....
What came first? The chicken or the egg?
Which came first? The colour orange or the fruit?
Who taught the first ever teacher?
If you expect the unexpected, doesn't that make the unexpected expected?
If you describe something as 'indescribable', then haven't you already described it?
In the word 'scent', is the silent letter the 's' or the 'ce'?
Why do your lips touch when they say the word 'seperate', but don't touch when you say the word 'together'?
How many photos do you think you could be in the background of?
The guy who discovered cow milk, what was he doing with that cow?
Do regular dogs see police dogs and think, "Oh no, its a cop"?
Is it possible to cry underwater?
If two left handers have an argument, who is right?
I warned you!! You just didn't listen.... :O
What's the hardest thing to do?
Not kill your sibblings. (Put the knives away >:)
A friend was doing bird puns on me. Then I realised that toucan play a game.
A man who drinks a lot is told by his that if he ever gets drunk again she will leave him. Later the man goes to a pub and drinks a lot and throws up all down his jacket. 'Oh no.' He says to his friend' if I go home like this again, my wife will leave me.' 'Dont worry' his friend says. 'Put a £20 note in your jacket pocket. When your wife challenges you, produce the money and say another man threw up on you and gave you the £20 note for the dry cleaning.' 'Brilliant!' the man says and goes home. He walks through his front door and his wife sees him. She is furious. 'No no' the man says producing the money from his inside pocket. 'A man threw up on me and gave me £20 for the dry cleaning.' 'Whats the other £20 note for?' asks his wife. 'Ah, that's from the man who shat in my pants.....'
When you play flappy bird in 9/11 the bird is a blane and the obstical courses are towers
What is better than winning gold at the Para Olympics? WALKING!
run on a sandpaper floor-treadmill hybrid in a medium sized room for 24 hours it will be fun
What do you call a kid with Down syndrome trying to beat Minecraft? “ A sped runner”.
Don’t you hate it when your teacher(s) say, “just focus, it’s that easy”
And then you die inside
what's an Emos least favorite game? fruit ninjs
How did Michael Jackson challenge the victim's parents? Then won't you slap my face, because I'm bad.
why was the short person a coward.they didnt stand up to challenges
