Chair jokes
How do you win a game of musical chairs? You steal the chair!
What did the booty say to the chair?
"You complete me!"
A guy walks into a bar, then a table, and then a chair.
How would Steven Hawking's mom punish him as a kid?
Power off his chair.
My friend just got hit by a car and is now in a wheelchair. He is getting bullied, but I don’t understand why he just can’t stand up for himself.
Shrek once went to the movies and when he sat down he felt this slimy and sticky feeling on the chair, so he stood up and complained about his chair being dirty... until he realized that he forgot to wipe earlier... so he stopped complaining and went back to his chair and sat back down.
How do you end an argument with an emo? Kick the chair.
How do you know when your vegetables are completely cooked?
The wheelchair rises to the top.
When a person in a wheelchair says, "You've never taken a step in my shoes," and you say, "To be honest, you haven't either."
What did one chair say to the other?
"I'm so bummed out!"
What is the hardest part of a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
To the guy in a wheelchair who stole my camouflage coat: you can hide, but you can't run.
What kind of chair inhabits your soul?
A hair!
What is it called when someone is a wheel chair and in a fire?
Answer: Hot wheels...
How many Quebecers does it take to change a lightbulb?
4!
One to hold the bulb, two to turn the chair he's standing on, and one to sing "Alouette, gentille alouette!"
What do you call a fat spеaky in a wheelchair spеaky chair?
Yo momma so fat, when she pulled out the chair, it screamed and broke itself.
*Me walking into the nail salon* Hi, I'm here for my 3:45 appointment.
*Nail tech:* Ok, sweety, come and sit down.
*Me sits down in the chair*
*Nail tech:* You want long nail, short nail? Um, long nail. You want boyfriend?!! Yes, ma'am. Ok, let me work magic. Ok.
*gives me short nail* Bro, I asked for long nail, but you said BF, but u look lesbian.
*walks out without paying*
*Nail tech gives money to a customer* There u win.
*customer:* I told u she would.
What do you call a chair with a hat?
I don't know; the real question is, why was the chair wearing a hat?
I pushed my best friend's chair in class. Now I kinda feel bad that he was in a wheelchair.