Chair jokes
How do you win an argument against a emo? kick the chair.
Tyler M is not to be sitting in the chair he is right now.
You sat on a chair with Uranus.
Yo momma so fat, when she pulled out the chair, it screamed and broke itself.
How do you get four prostitutes on one chair?
You turn it upside down.
Woahhhhhhh, we’re halfway theeeere! WOAHHHHHHH OHHHH, Squidward on a chaIIIir!
Why did the grandmother put wheels on her rocking chair?
... she likes to rock and roll lol.
What games would deaf people not be good at?
Simon says and Musical chairs.
"I'd rather go through the pain of childbirth again than let you drill in my mouth," the woman told her dentist.
He replied, "Well, please make up your mind so I can adjust my chair."
Me: Can I have your chair? 💺 You: Why? Me: For charity.
Boy: "Why can't you get a family?"
Me: "Why can't you get a rope?"
Boy: "What do you mean?"
Friend and me: "We can show you."
Me: "I will tie the rope."
Friend: "I will push the chair."
Stephen Hawking always wins musical chairs, as he’s always sitting down.
How do you end an argument with an emo? Kick the chair.
A man is sitting in a chair. He is talking to the other friend about what they must cherish.
One says he cherishes his family, the other cherishes his parents, and a man comes in, points at the chair and says, “I CHAIRish my Chair” as he pulls up a chair.
I was a sit-down comedian, then I tried to stand up. I fell.
I wished I stayed in the wheelchair.
A guy was on trial for murder, and if convicted, would get the electric chair. His brother found out that a redneck was on the jury and figured he would be the one to bribe. He told the redneck that he would be paid $10,000 if he could convince the rest of the jury to reduce the charge to manslaughter.
The jury was out an entire week and returned with a verdict of manslaughter.
After the trial, the brother went to the redneck's house, told him what a great job he had done, and paid him the $10,000.
The redneck replied that it wasn't easy to convince the rest of the jury to change the charge to manslaughter. They all thought he was not guilty and wanted to let him go.
A guy walks into a bar, then a table, and then a chair.
What does a kid do when he's bored and he's sitting? He puts wheels on the chair and makes it a wheelchair.
Why did Billy fall off his bike?
Because his dad threw a chair at him.
This gay guy was so happy with his new boyfriend that he took him to his favorite gay bar.
An hour or so goes by, then the new flame says, "I just LOVE this place, everyone is so nice, food is great, but what's up with the monkey way down there?"
His friend says "OK, watch this." He goes up behind the chimp and smacked him in back of its head. The monkey jumped off the stool, pulls down his zipper, and gives him head. When finished, the chimp took a napkin, cleaned himself, pulled up his zipper, then jumped back to his chair.
He walked back to his new gay friend and said, "What do you think of that?"
"MAN, I seen some amazing things, but never like that!" His squeeze said, "Wanna give it a try?"
"I sure do, JUST DON'T hit me as hard as you hit that monkey."