Chair jokes

How do you end an argument with an emo? Kick the chair.

When's the best day to get the chair? Fry-day.

If you can't stand the heat, sit!

A man is on his deathbed in prison by electric chair.

The man who controls the chair asks for any last words.

The prisoner replies with: “Can you hold my hand?”

Hey, you know what I told the kid in a wheelchair?

I told him to be a stand-up comedian!

When a person in a wheelchair says, "You've never taken a step in my shoes," and you say, "To be honest, you haven't either."

A guy walks into a bar, then a table, and then a chair.

What do you call a chair with a hat?

I don't know; the real question is, why was the chair wearing a hat?

What do you call a chair?

I don't know. What?

Oh, hi, Chairity!

Q: Get up for a chair joke!

A: Oh, never mind, you can sit down.

What has four legs in the morning, two legs at noon, and three legs in the evening?

A kitchen chair! Your momma sits in it for lunch, and your dad only manages to reattach one of the two legs that broke off by evening.

Yes.

One day, I sit in the lounge on a chair.

My friend that was in a wheelchair was getting bullied, so I said, "Stand up for yourself."

*Me walking into the nail salon* Hi, I'm here for my 3:45 appointment.

*Nail tech:* Ok, sweety, come and sit down.

*Me sits down in the chair*

*Nail tech:* You want long nail, short nail? Um, long nail. You want boyfriend?!! Yes, ma'am. Ok, let me work magic. Ok.

*gives me short nail* Bro, I asked for long nail, but you said BF, but u look lesbian.

*walks out without paying*

*Nail tech gives money to a customer* There u win.

*customer:* I told u she would.

To the guy in a wheelchair who stole my camouflage coat: you can hide, but you can't run.

I broke up with my boyfriend and stole his wheelchair.

Guess who came crawling back?

I can't decide if I like rocking chairs or not.

I keep going back and forth on them.

My friend just got hit by a car and is now in a wheelchair. He is getting bullied, but I don’t understand why he just can’t stand up for himself.

I got pranked so many times. Once I saw two wheels rolling down the street. I heard this noise. I looked behind me. There's a legless man in a wheelless chair screaming, "HELP! I CAN'T GO ANYWHERE!" but I walked away. I knew it was a prank.