Celebrity jokes
On a bus, a priest sat next to a drunk who was struggling to read a newspaper.
Suddenly, with a slurred voice, the drunk asked the priest:
"Do you know what arthritis is?"
The parish priest soon thought of taking the opportunity to lecture the drunk and replied:
"It's a disease caused by sinful and unruly life: excess, consumption of alcohol, drugs, marijuana, crack, and certainly lost women, prostitutes, promiscuity, sex, binges, and other things I dare not say."
The drunk widened his eyes, shut up, and continued reading the newspaper.
A little later the priest, thinking that he had been too hard on the drunk, tried to soften:
"How long have you had arthritis?"
"I don't have arthritis! It says here in the paper that the Pope has it."
Why is Michael Jackson so weak?
Why did Michael Jackson name his kid Blanket?
What would you call a cover for your cock?
What’s the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson?
One was famous for walking on the moon, (pause), the other fucked young boys.
This one time I said that John Cena looks like crap.
But I realized I can't see him. LOL!
Justin Bieber
Don't free Britney!
My friend bought a Tom Holland blanket and I said, "Well, now you're sleeping with him."
Yo mama so ugly, she made One Direction go the other direction.
Yo mama so ugly, she made One Direction go the other direction.
What did Jay Z say when he got pulled over?
"I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one!"
Why can't Stephen Hawking be the real Slim Shady?
Because he can't stand up, can't stand up.
Q: What is the difference between Michael Jackson & Neil Armstrong? A: Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, and Michael Jackson f@ck$ little kids in the a$$!
I always knew that Maranda Sings was orbiting Uranus.
Will Smith slapped your hairline to space.
Why is LeBron James an orphan?
Because he doesn't use WhatsApp.
What does Justin Bieber and a rabbit have in common?
They're both adorably cute and everyone loves them except for Justin Bieber.
Why is LeBron James an orphan?
Because he doesn't Fortnite.
What’s better than Ted Danson?
Ted singing and Danson!
Some marriages can make short people look like Shaquille O'Neal.