Cristiano Ronaldo

Cristiano Ronaldo jokes

Penaldo

  • I cleaned my room today. While sweeping under the bed, I heard my mop collide with something. To my surprise, I found Pristiano Penaldo hiding under my bed! My dad said, “Don’t bother sweeping him son, he’s been dusted for years.” I was shocked but not surprised.

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  • Laptop

  • I work as an IT technician. The other day, I had to fix Cristiano Ronaldo’s laptop. He pointed to a message on the screen saying, “Do you consent to cookies?” He said that he doesn’t eat cookies and doesn’t know what consent means, so that’s why he called me.

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  • Fraud

  • I was on the Official Cristiano Ronaldo website when suddenly my Anti-Virus software showed an alert on my screen! The notification read "WARNING: FRAUD DETECTED!" I was shocked but not surprised.

    Penaldo has been finished for years after all, and he often ghosts in big games.

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  • Rip-off

  • "I've only been ripped off twice in my life. The first time was when I ordered three kebabs and they only delivered two. The second time was when we signed Cristiano Ronaldo."

    -Al Nassr owner

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  • Parachute

  • The plane crashed. There are 5 seats in Bordeaux and usually 4 parachute seats.

    The first song goes: "I am Cristiano Ronaldo, the best player in the world, so fly with the first helmet."

    One of Ivanka Trump's former supporters said: "I was the US President's teacher." And take an umbrella and fly.

    Former US Secretary of State Donald Trump said: "I am the President of the United States. I am the president of the United States of America, not responsible to the people. Design our package and jump."

    "I'm glad," said the next passenger, Popstag, as he approached. Then the boy explained: "I still can't see anyone's problem. The President of the United States is in my bag..."

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  • Pristiano Penaldo

  • Today I feel diving. Today I feel penalty. Today I feel tap in. Today I feel ghosting. Today I feel finished. Today I feel a bench warmer... I know what it feels to be discriminated... I was bullied because I am Pristiano Penaldo.

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  • Penaldo

  • Today, I was at the Apple Store when I saw that a lot of phones were broken. When I looked around, I saw none other than Pristiano Penaldo smashing all the phones. He said he was mad because he ghosted vs a relegation team. Shame on you, Penaldo!

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  • Ronaldo

  • It was an important knockout game for Al Nassr. I came to Riyad to see my idol Cristiano Ronaldo play. It was my dream for a long time. I took a cab to the stadium, but the driver dropped me off at a haunted house instead.

    As soon as I entered the house, I saw a ghost, but the very next moment I realized it's my idolo Ronaldo. Thank you Ronaldo for meeting me!

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  • Pass

  • Cristiano Clapnaldo woke up FEELING DANGEROUS against Real Sociedad!

    - 0 tapins! - 0 assists! - 3/3 dives! - 0 key passes! - 2 big chances missed! - 1/4 dribbles! - 2 Offsides! - 27 claps!

    Better than Elanga?

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  • Penaldo

  • MISSING!!

    MISSING!!

    Name: Ghostiano Penaldo

    Missing: 27/6/2021 vs Belgium

    Characteristics: Disappearing in big games + Diving + always ranting "give me penalty".

    Last found - Practicing tap ins.

    Possible Locations: Penalty Spot, Parma, Crotone.

    Might be dangerous towards good players.

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