Celebrity Jokes

What is it called when Bill Cosby and an illegal immigrant fight?

Aliens vs. Predator

So my teacher's daughter committed suicide.

One day I'ma go up to her and say, "What's wrong, did Logan Paul leave your daughter hanging?"

What’s Stephen Hawking’s favorite band? The Rolling Stones.

What does an Xbox/PlayStation and Michael Jackson have in common?

Kids turn them on.

What do Ellen DeGeneres and homeless people have in common?

They don’t cook because they love eating out.

How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

Poker Face.

What do Michael Jackson and Pinocchio have in common?

They both lie over little boys 😂

Kobe Bryant and 9/11 are two things I don't joke about because when I do, they tend to crash and burn.

What does Michael Jackson and an Xbox have in common?

They're both turned on by kids.

Where did Kobe go after the helicopter crashed? Everywhere.

What's the difference between what Bill Cosby did and what OJ Simpson did? OJ Simpson's victims actually suffered and I actually feel bad for them (the boyfriend at least).

I was asking people who knew Trump if he would win a second term. Stormy said, "No way, he doesn't have two in him!"

What do you call being run over by Michael Jackson?

Being hit by... Being struck by... A smooth criminal.

Girl playing outside: "Step on a line and you break your mommy's spine." She then steps on a line and her mother keels over screaming.

Girl playing outside: "Step on a crack and you break daddy's back." She steps on a crack the mailman next door then keels over screaming.

The husband starts celebrating, gets in the car, and starts to drive away.

The son comes outside and steps on a crack.

The dad then dies in a car crash.

A very rich and famous comedian walked into a Russian bar and asked for a vodka, but the bar man (a big fan of his) answered to him: - "This vodka isn't good enough for you." - "If it is good enough for you it is good enough for me!"