Celebrity jokes

Why does Michael Jackson like 44-year-olds? There's 4 of them.

Can anyone answer this riddle? Apparently this is the world's hardest riddle! Good luck 😝

“I turn polar bears white, and I will make you cry. I make guys have to pee, and girls comb their hair. I make celebrities look stupid, and normal people look like celebrities.”

Why didn't Michael Jackson date 25 year olds?

Because there were only 20 of them.

What's the quickest way to get money besides winning the lottery?

Leaving your son with Michael Jackson.

How do you know Johnny Depp finished his meal?

When you see fifty empty bottles of wine on his front doorstep.

What's the difference between a rubber and Michael Jackson? Nothing, kids touch them both.

Yo mama so fat that Will Smith could slap her from a mile away.

I work as an IT technician. The other day, I had to fix Cristiano Ronaldo’s laptop. He pointed to a message on the screen saying, “Do you consent to cookies?” He said that he doesn’t eat cookies and doesn’t know what consent means, so that’s why he called me.

Did you know that people say Michael Jackson only became a pedophile when he was white?

Lucky for him, if he was black he would have been found guilty.

Why does Michael Jackson do positions with kids in photos? Because they won’t do the same for him.

What do you call a large lamp that does illicit things to young children?

A Jacko Lantern!

Did you know Paul Walker had dandruff? Neither did I til I seen his Head and Shoulders on the dashboard.

What's the difference between Wacko Jacko and Elvis Presley?

14 number 1 hits.

Race car backwards is race car, but if you turn race car sideways, that’s how Paul Walker got sent to God’s inbox.

How many times does Ariana Grande knock at the door?

She doesn’t, she just uses 7 rings.

How does Michael Jackson pick his nose?

Out of a catalogue. 😁

What time is bedtime at Michael Jackson’s house?

When the big hand touches the little hand.

What is it called when Bill Cosby and an illegal immigrant fight?

Aliens vs. Predator

What did death say during a helicopter crash?

KOBE!

Girl playing outside: "Step on a line and you break your mommy's spine." She then steps on a line and her mother keels over screaming.

Girl playing outside: "Step on a crack and you break daddy's back." She steps on a crack the mailman next door then keels over screaming.

The husband starts celebrating, gets in the car, and starts to drive away.

The son comes outside and steps on a crack.

The dad then dies in a car crash.