Celebrity jokes
What do Phillip Adam and Kurt Cobain have in common?
They both used their brains to paint the ceiling.
What do they call Dwayne "the Rock" Johnson's son? The Pebble.
What’s better than Ted Danson?
Ted singing and Danson!
Chuck Norris once won a race against Usain Bolt, running in the opposite direction around the track, blindfolded, on one foot.
How many Michael Jacksons does it take to screw a light bulb?
Oh wait, Michael Jackson only screws little boys, my bad.
For Charlie D'Amelio fans, my basement is your home now. Leave a like if you agree with me.
What would Stephen Hawking do to get drunk?
Overcharge himself.
What did Eminem call himself when he lost weight?
Slim Shady.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping bag?
One is made of plastic and bad for kids; the other one holds shopping.
Why does Michael Jackson like 44-year-olds? There's 4 of them.
John Lennon: "What a nice view."
John walked outside.
He got shot.
:skull:
Michael Jackson has done something no one has ever done before. I'm not talking about his record sales or tickets sold.
I'm talking about being born a black man and dying a white woman. Incredible!
What is fully grown but can fit through small objects? Michael Jackson.
You could say Kobe's career went up in smoke.
Q. If I go 1 on 1 with Harvey Weinstein, I won't get raped?
A. I'm not a 14-year-old girl.
I would tell a Paul Walker joke, but it would crash and burn.
What's the difference between Paul Walker and a computer?
I care when my computer crashes.
Kobe Bryant and 9/11 are two things I don't joke about because when I do, they tend to crash and burn.
What's the difference between a shopping bag and Michael Jackson?
One is white, made of plastic, and dangerous for children. The other is for groceries.
Why does Michael Jackson do positions with kids in photos? Because they won’t do the same for him.