Celebrity jokes
What actor does an orphan hate?
Vin Diesel.
What do Michael Jackson and an Xbox have in common? Firstly, they both went from black to white, and secondly, they both get turned on by kids.
What’s Stephen Hawking’s favorite band? The Rolling Stones.
Kelly Clarkson and Ian Watkins of the Lostprophets both walk into a bar. The bartender asked, "Hitting on some 2-year-olds today?" It may have been an innocuous question, if it weren't for the fact that the bartender is Chris Hansen.
Did you know that McDonald's made a Michael Jackson burger? It’s a 50-year-old piece of meat in a 12-year-old bun.
10 followers!!!!!
I always knew that Maranda Sings was orbiting Uranus.
Why did the Secret Service detain Johnny Depp at the White House?
Because he was about to kick the cabinet.
What is David Bowie known for when making music? He gets his beats from his kids.
Kelly Clarkson wants to be Rosie O'Donnell so badly. Too bad Kelly is the "Queen of Incest" and not the "Queen of Nice".
(And Kelly came from a sundown town in the Deep South, and not from Long Island.)
What’s Michael Jackson’s favorite pasta?
Spaghett-hehe.
I was in a haunted house today. Nothing scared me until I reached the last room, where I saw the scariest Halloween ghost I've ever seen. He took my pens and ghosted. I was told that I saw Pristiano Penaldo and I was lucky enough to see him because he performs once in a blue moon.
What is blonde, has six legs, and roams Michael Jackson’s dreams every night?
Hanson.
What’s Whitney Houston’s favorite type of coordination? HAAAAND EEEEEEEEEYYYYEEE!
How do you get Carrie Underwood to dehydrate fast?
Tell her that all the water supplies contain the COVID vaccine.
What is Bill Cosby's favorite poem? Roses are red, my cum is blue, I'll wait till your asleep to rape you.
What did the helicopter say?
Helicopter: "Kobe!"
Kobe Bryant jokes just don't really fly well now.
What's the difference between a rubber and Michael Jackson? Nothing, kids touch them both.
When I grow up, I wanna be like Lil Peep... Dead.
What are Michael Jackson's favorite sodas? Yoo-hoo-hoo and Mountain Dew-hoo-hoo. What cola company should people get to keep him at bay? Pep-see-hee.