Celebrity jokes
Do you like soccer? My favorite player is Ronaldo, but we can still get Messi.
What's the difference between Derek Boogaard and Kurt Cobain? Nothing, they were both fucked in the brain when they died.
What did Chris Brown say the first time he saw Rihanna?
I’d hit that.
What is the difference between Nicole Brown Simpson and cancer?
OJ couldn’t kill cancer.
What song did Michael Jackson come up with after his first sleepover with the kid?
"Just Beat It."
What did Bill Cosby say on the second date?
"Hi, nice to meet you."
It's telling that Ye gets more offended when he's called a gayfish than a Nazi.
How did Rihanna find out Chris Brown was cheating on her?
She found another woman’s lipstick on his knuckles.
What is the difference between the Twin Towers and Elton John?
Elton John is still standing.
What do you call a basketball player with erectile dysfunction?
Tragic Johnson.
Michael Jackson has done something no one has ever done before. I'm not talking about his record sales or tickets sold.
I'm talking about being born a black man and dying a white woman. Incredible!
Your hairline is so long The Rock complimented it!
Why did Amy Winehouse snort Splenda?
She thought it was Diet Coke.
If you leave your small children inside a shower with Kelly Clarkson, you're a filthy parent.
Kelly Clarkson wants to be Rosie O'Donnell so badly. Too bad Kelly is the "Queen of Incest" and not the "Queen of Nice".
(And Kelly came from a sundown town in the Deep South, and not from Long Island.)
Kelly Clarkson may be able to shed her weight [through pills], but she will never be able to shed the fact that she admitted herself that she molested her children when they were toddlers.
What is the difference between Paul Walker and the Queen?
Paul Walker passed 100 before he died.
Did you know Paul Walker was a method actor? He took his role very seriously as a human torch.
Why don’t rappers ever get cold?
Because they have so many fans!
How does a rapper apologize?
With a rap-ology!