I wanna be a Christmas decoration cause they always do be hanging.
Why can't an orphan make a YouTube channel?
Cause they can't make it family friendly
Why did the octopus cross the road?
'Cause he was on the same side as a sushi restaurant.
Gf- You are a drug. Bf- Why cause you are addicted to me? Gf- No, because you are number one most wanted in Montana.
Why does Steven hawkings only do one liners?
Cause he can’t do stand up
why did the toilet paper not make it across the street?cause it got stuck in a pot hole:)
Is your middle name fancy feast? Cause your face looks like a can of dog food
why did the dog cause the fight
because it was a bulldog
Why did only blonds show up at Saturday's party during the Corona crisis?
Cause their computers flashed, Virus blocked!
why does santa claus have such a big sack??
cause he only comes once a year
why does the athlete isnt in the full bus cause she is trying to fit in
why do atletes cool down fast cause they have fans
wash your hands
we all hear cause we cut our selfs right i mean JK
Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick Jill’s candy but Jack got a shock and a mouth full of cock ‘cause Jill’s real name is Randy. Yes, this joke is stolen.
Your Momma's so fat, the recursive function calculating her mass causes a stack overflow.
Why did the people think Stephen hawking was disrespectful? Cause he didn’t stand up for the national anthem
Three copycats on a boat 1 jumps off how many are left? 0 cause they’re copycats
why can’t orphans work at S.C Johnson
Cause it’s a family Company
Have you ever stepped foot in Stephen Hawkins house? cause hasn’t either.
Once I went to a museum and over heard someone speaking to an employee for information.
“These are lying clocks, they tell how many lies a person tells.”
“oh cool”
“this is mother Teresa’s clock, the clock hasn’t moved because she never lied.”
“Makes sense”
“This is Abraham Lincoln’s clock. The hands only moved twice indicating he only lied twice.”
“Where’s Trump’s clock”
“Oh, we’re using it as a ceiling fan.”
And then I burst out laughing 'cause it’s so true.
