Sister: Hey sis, how are you today?
Me: Oh, good, you?
Sister: Good, 'cause I heard you finally got a good living life.
It's this girl named Deaf, what a weird name, but I know that 'cause I was ear hustling.
But anyway, everytime I call her, she doesn't answer. I wanna clap some cheeks tonight, how could she hate me when she don't know me?
Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road? Cause it got stuck in the crack *if u dont get it it got stuck in the butt crack*
Why did the boy study for his math test in a tree?
'Cause he wanted higher grades.
Why can’t you trust an emo kid?
'Cause they always leave you hanging.
Yo mama so ugly she went into a haunted house...... And came back out with a job application then that ran away * CAUSE SHE"S A UGLY FUCK*
I'm jealous of my LED lights, 'cause they're hanging from the ceiling and I'm not.
Why did the director have an injured leg? Cause he couldn't find the right cast.
why cant orphans play monopoly?? cause they cant put a house
Why is 10 so scared? Cause it was in the middle of 9/11.
why did the orphan go outside the school A: cause it was take your parents to school day
Why did Lucas die?
'Cause he was old, Lucas.
I got kicked out of the hospital because I told all the COVID-19 patients to stay positive.
This dude is so fat, wearing the same damn clothes every day. Every time he turns around, it's his graduation day. He forgot to put a boomerang on his pants because they don't even fit anymore. Last time I saw him coming down the street, it was in a bucket of Popeye's chicken, extra crispy.
The lasagna I just cooked is for me, my friends, and family. You don't get none because your name is not on the list. You wanna know why? 'Cause you got the whole place smelling like catdog and ass.
Hey, my man, why you got them damn old, stanky-looking Whoopi Goldberg cornrows on you head? Are y'all twins, or boyfriend and girlfriend, 'cause if y'all are, go get married in Color Purple land.
— Can I borrow a book [on] how to kill myself?
— Librarian: No, because you won’t bring it back.
Where did your dad go? Because I saw him at the milk shop. Oh wait, there isn't one.
How did we know Princess Diana had dandruff?
'Cause the police found her Head and Shoulders on the dash.
Why didn't the chicken cross the road
Cause it got knocked down on its way
