Caught jokes
Why was the gay boy fired from the sperm bank?
He was caught embezzling.
What did the man do when he caught his wife cheating on him?
He honor-killed her.
Shortly after the hole was finished, everyone in the forest was looking for long grass to fill the hole. The upper layer covered it with short grass and scattered some grass around the hole so it didn't seem as conspicuous. The next evening, the villagers hid in their houses and turned off the lights and waited inside, while one of the farmers stood outside and, if possible, unobtrusively skimped on a cart.
Around midnight, the Headless Rider appeared with his horse in the village. He saw the seemingly single peasant scooping his hay and rode towards him. He was about to swing his axe, and while he was doing so, he overlooked the slightly more scattered grass near the farmer – and thus fell into the trap. He clumsily slumped into the prefabricated hole together with his horse and now lay there helplessly inside, together with his horse, which swayed in panic as the rider's axe was stuck in its back.
When the villagers heard this, they all stormed out of the houses to surround the hole. They saw the Headless Rider, and when he noticed all the villagers around him, he cursed: “Gaaah! You stupid villagers caught me! I can't do much down here. I give up.” The villagers took his axe away from him. Now they only needed a just punishment for the rider.
One of the villagers shouted: “We should tie him to a rope and hang him! He tried to kill us all and plagued us for a long time. So we should kill him and let him suffer for a long time!” The other villagers agreed with him. So they tied a thick rope to a branch of a large tree that stood in the village garden. The villagers took the Headless Rider out of the hole and dragged him to the rope. As they were about to hang the rope around his neck, they noticed that something didn't fit in their plan to hang the Headless Rider. Then the Headless Rider cried out: “You stupid mortals, I have no head at all! Why are you trying to hang me?”
Did you hear about the streaker in church? He was caught by the organ.
What falls from the tree first, the autistic retard or the apple?
The apple, because the rope caught the autistic retard.
I almost got caught trying to steal a board game yesterday.
It was a Risk I was willing to take.
Did you hear about the nun that got kicked out of the convent?
She got caught squatting on the cucumbers in the garden.
Did you hear about the nun that got kicked out of the convent?
She got caught squatting on the cucumbers in the garden.
Why did Santa stop at three ho's?
Ms. Claus caught him.
How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood?
His hand caught on fire.
I went fishing with my grandpa, and my fishing line caught the attention of a school of fish. I told him to get my gun.
A black man said, "Where are the young ones?"
Got fired from the bank yesterday.
They caught me drinking on the job.
A white woman was caught on video using racial slurs and assaulting two black students. She was charged with "interpreting" a black police officer.
This pastor decided to skip church one Sunday morning and go play golf.
He told his assistant that he wasn't feeling well. He drove to a golf course in another city, so nobody would know him.
He teed off on the first hole. A huge gust of wind caught his ball, carried it an extra hundred yards and dropped it right in the hole, for a 450 yard hole in one.
An angel looked at God and said "What'd you do that for?" God smiled and said "Who's he going to tell?"
Judge to the defendant: "Defendant, do you have a criminal record?"
"No."
"Have you always been honest?"
"No, never been caught!"
I caught a cold, Mary Earp caught the ball, what did the towers catch? The plane.
Why did the basketball player not get on the bus?
Because he couldn’t be caught travelling! 😂
My son caught me masturbating. He asked me, "What are you doing?" and I said, "Don't worry, son, you'll be doing it soon." He asks, "Why is that?" and I said, "My arm's getting tired."
Q: Why was the gay man fired from the sperm bank?
A: He got caught drinking on the job.
"Why couldn’t the DJ keep any of the fish he caught?
He kept dropping the bass."